Ask Jock ..... GGMI Bump

I dinnae know aboot that pal, but listening to our fortunes at the moment i think theys better rename it 'Having a Glass' coz i know i sure will be.

Nae woories pal.

Year 1 - Stabilise.... or in other words make sure The Mem dont collapse, couple o loans ta keep us safe in this divvy. Finish the planning off at th Colony an hopefully remove livestock from th field. Wael has noticeably gone grey and bald.

Year 2 - Submit plans for a small stadia on the mem site al seater fur 12000 with a few goodies ( pizza hut, bowling alley,nightclub and table tennis hall), increase the new managers budget slightly (we offer free holidays ta Jordan to new players) , start work on Colony an announce possibly it will now be Cat 2 academy. Ed Ware arrested for extortion.

Year 3 - First stand begins construction at stadia which will now be renamed 'The Meme' boys do wonders on pitch after integrating 4 middle eastern youngsters (well refugees actually) Colony opens its doors to huge disappointment as they forgot ta put electricity in an players have to train fur months wearing miners helmets. DC leaves citing th club is a chuffkin shambles.

Year 4 - First stand opens, second one begins construction, after a disappointing end ta th season Darrell returns havin had a mare at Cardiff City and th rebuild begins. Ellis returns with him and scores 30 goals and marries Nicole Scherzinger who watches evry game and attendances go thru th roof.

Year 5 - Second stand finished, third begins. DC gets us promoted with guts an thunder. De Bruyne stars in midfield an lights up th park. Colony produces two million pound players, WAQ says future bright and 4th stand will start next season bigger than thought an will push capacity up ta 14,000! City suffer 2nd relegation in 2 years an play one div lower than The GAS! Apple announce major sponsorship of us for 20 years worth £1 billion and they rename stadium again  - " The Apple iCannae Believe it Stadium"

Big jock, can you get Hani interested in football, and the Scots know a thing about being prudent with money, can you get him to release his tight grip on the Jordanian dollars?

Your humour is so wasted on us! This is hilarious!!

We need ta make him one of us .So i dont want yous ta take me th wrong way but i suggest kidnapping him, takin him out on th town, few fair ladies etc then blackmail th guy. Look, hes got a well cool name so th final swinger is ta get him ta join us holding up a bank, that way we all gets what we wants and it doesnt cost him a penny. I'll lead the gang, yous can be the driver an Abbey Gas (hes a nice bloke ya know) he can give out the orders when wees al ready , th code for GO will be " Hani get yer gun" naebody will suspect a thing. Remember we'll have to be quiet tho, aint no good going through there like a load of vaginas marchin thru mud. Long as that Gasinciders mob don't interfere. we'll hide the stash under Hugo's security blanket, get down th casino ta launder it, get the cheques and Boom! It'll remain r little secret.

WAQ don't need ta know a thing, we'll buy him Eden Hazard as a surprise.

Why are the Scottish games always the first to finish and come up on the vidiprinter of a Saturday afternoon?

Good point, this seems to happen every week.
Is Scotland in a different time zone, over to you Jock?

A good question Weezy, well fur one the spoilt fannies down south need more comfy time in the changing rooms not like us ard lot up ere.

But genuinely its coz the original half break was 10 minutes and still is up here. But because the EPL and EFL have so much on telly etc they gets 15 minutes fur adverts, sh1te discussions from pundits, sponsorship plugs etc. So Scots football almost always starts the 2nd half bang on 4pm. an i likes it that way, i mean camaan tell me yous don't get bored out yer tits waiting for the action to begin again. I'd make the bassas play straight thru if i had my way.

I've never actually got ta th end of a porno...do they cuddle after?

and are gay men just chuffking arseholes?