New BEP Rovers Blog column available now

The same reason you only buy your misses flowers on your anniversary.

shirk?  or twerk?

that is the question...

ok, back now, here's the text for those who don't like going on other websites...


BRISTOL ROVERS BLOG: G is for Gas - Revere the Beard

Posted: February 10, 2015

By Martin Bull


A beard is now so fashionable amongst the general populace that it is almost instantly passé.

On the Gaschat forum (no, it’s not a pick-up joint for ladies who have a crush on boiler fitters) a legendary thread entitled ‘How Tall is the Beard?’ currently runs to over 500 replies,

The original post was a photo of a fan with ‘The Beard’ (midfielder Stuart Sinclair) in Cabot Circus, wondering if the fan was quite tall or ’The Beard’ was very small.

The initial replies were vaguely serious but then, following the best tradition of football conversations that meander around and don’t have much in common with the original post, they morphed into fabricated one liners showing just how outlandishly amazing ‘The Beard’ is.

My favourites so far include 'The Prime Minister makes hoax phone calls to Stuart Sinclair', 'He gets so much fan mail he has his own post code', 'The AA call him if they breakdown', 'The speaking clock calls him to find out the time', and obviously 'God prays to Stuart Sinclair'. If you find none of these amusing, you may need to move on to another blog. They are like buses these days.

Is this reverence just because he has a fisherman’s beard? Well, he certainly became an instant cult hero due to his unusual appearance and his amazing enthusiasm for football and BRFC, but he has since also earned his status through performances. Statistically we have gained more points (1.88 per game) when he has been playing. Until Saturday we only gained 1.50 points per game without him. Of course it is not really possible to compare games solely for one man, but most gasheads would agree anyway that his energy, tackling, crisp passing and salmon-like leap are enough to make him one of the first on the team sheet any day.

Personally I would have had to have a shave, or more likely a shear, if I was trying to play sport professionally, but then again Mr Sinclair is a very special individual, with very singular powers.

Although people remember the late 1970s and early 1980s as an era of supreme hirsuteness, the reality is that there were still very few players with actual beards. Although many had huge barnets, Forest of Dean style mullets, moustaches that would be more at home in spaghetti western films, and sideboards that resembled off-cuts of carpets, the cheeks and chin were still reserved for ’er indoors to kiss.

The only regular Rovers player I can think of with a proper beard was Stuart Taylor towards the end of his career; a potent symbol of his alpha maleness perhaps? Taylor of course was the 6’5” Nephilim centre back who holds the record number of League appearances for Rovers (546), a record that given the nature of modern football is very unlikely to be beaten.

Lots of players had moustaches but I’m still struggling to find many proper beards on the Eastville grass, the Twerton turf or the Mem’s match surface. Top lippers included Mike Green (the captain of the 1973/74 promotion winning team; not the recent goalie with just two appearances), Aiden McCaffrey, Paul Randall (particularly in his curly perm phase), Don Gillies, Brian Williams, Paul Bannon, Errington Kelly, Gary Penrice, Kenny Hibbitt, Nigel Martyn and Phil Purnell.

But it wasn’t until Bobby Gould’s double signing of Ian ’Jocky’ Alexander and Geoff Twentyman within one day of each other in late August 1986 that we had possibly the best defensive tasch duo in the whole of the land, with both resembling bushy black slugs or Groucho Marx’s thick boot polish imitation. Both went on to make over 300 appearances for the Gas, and Twentyman was remarkably ever-present in the League from Boxing Day, 1987 to August 23, 1991, a staggering 163 games.

There have only been a few attempts I can think of at the Mem, such as Giuliano Grazioli‘s stubbly look and John French‘s goatee. Gary Penrice’s return in 1997 brought his fluffy top lip back, as if he hadn’t realised it was way out of fashion by then. A few years later it was finally, and thankfully, snipped.

Recently Matt Harold and Matt Gill grew quite considerable facial hair for ‘Movember’. The former looked like a bit of a tramp, whereas the latter resembled a RAF Brylcreem boy.

As playing with a beard must be hardwork it is our off the pitch personalities who have given us some of the most marvellous moments of hirsuteness, courtesy of Barry Bradshaw’s massive tasch and black mop of hair, Terry Cooper’s luxuriant man hairs and Dennis Booth’s walrus like statement of his virility (Dennis was assistant manager under John Ward when Ward was still fresh). But none of them ever matched ‘The Beard‘.

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I feel that not only do we need to win every home game we have left, but also that there is little to fear from the opposition we have left. Our promotion prospects should rest on our away form really, and obviously that of Barnet’s.

I don’t think it’s bigheaded to suggest that Saturday’s game was a home banker if ever there was one. Lincoln City came with the unenviable record of merely six points from their last 14 league away games, including three heavy defeats since New Year. Meanwhile Rovers had had a rocket up their bottom last week, and the lush green, green grass of home certainly made a big difference to our play.

After having hit the woodwork four times, and thoroughly dominated the game, a 2-0 win was ultimately narrower than hoped for, but it must have done wonders for the confidence of the 11 on the pitch. It was interesting to see four attacking options and no defenders on the bench; such was the conviction Darrell must have had to force a win by hook or by crook, and his confidence in the flexibility of the players who started should a defensive injury occur.

Amongst the pleasure of watching 16 shots and a comfortable win, it was actually one trifling moment that gave me most delight. I had the perfect sight line for Lee Brown’s free kick cracker, and I could see that the Imps had loaded the left hand side of their wall. I was guessing that they had watched Lee Mansell’s beautiful right footer from a similar position versus Gateshead, and prayed that Manse would let Browner take a left footer to exploit the space given. And so it was. How pleasing it is to not only have two excellent free kick takers almost ever present on the pitch (only three league games missed between them), but also for them to be able to leave ego’s behind and work together for the good of the club.

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Martin Bull became a Gashead in 1989 and immediately fell in love with Twerton Park, standing near G pillar. In 2006 he wrote, photographed and published the first independent book about the artist Banksy. Having been exiled for much of his past, away games have always been special for him; so much so that he has just produced a new book about them, in collaboration with Rovers fans far and wide, young and old - www.awaythegas.org.uk

Read more: www.bristolpost.co.uk/BRISTOL-ROVERS-BLOG-G-Gas-Revere-Beard/story-25997740-detail/story.html#ixzz3RLtrHPD1

sorry, time flew by yesterday. here's the text...


BRISTOL ROVERS BLOG: G is for Gas - What a diff'rence a day makes!

By Martin Bull

When Dinah Washington collected one of the first ever Grammy awards in 1959, for her performance of a song that starts “What a diff’rence a day makes, 24 little hours”, it was a shame she couldn’t have thanked Wrexham for helping give us that feeling over 55 years later.

Washington (whose real name was Ruth Lee Jones; almost the name of an ex-Gas keeper!) was known as the ‘Queen of the Blues’ and the slow melancholy of many of her songs, alongside tracks like Lead Belly’s ‘Goodnight, Irene’, encapsulate how it feels to be a Rovers fan at times. one-part elation, two-parts desolation.

A relatively comfortable win at potentially one of our toughest away fixtures, couple with Barnet losing and the Silkmen only drawing, has put us back into second and suddenly facing a very manageable four point gap to the long-time leaders. Those 24 little hours really have been an injection of optimism in Gasland.

I think we need to win every home game we have left, and then our promotion prospects will rest on our away form, and obviously that of Barnet’s and maybe Macclesfield‘s. Barnet’s overall away record may still look very impressive but the Bees are currently in a massive away slump, with three defeats on the trot and only seven points from their seven trips on the road.

There is a school of thought that says we could actually do better at the higher teams in the league as they may be more likely to want to win the game themselves, and play a more expansive game. It is also possible that some of them have better pitches, which seems to suit our style. Judging from the two impressive wins after the disappointing draw on Dartford’s dishevelled dirt track, the pitch issue could well be true. It has to be said though that as Grimsby was our first away win (in six attempts) to a team currently in the Top 10, we are hardly ‘ripping up trees’ to coin a football expression.

One tiny bonus from the weekend is that John Akinde’s sending off means he will miss their own crucial game against Grimsby Town this Saturday. There must also be a decent chance he could fall foul of the rule which allocates a two match ban for any player who collects 10 yellows before the end of the second Sunday in April, He is currently on seven, and as he will probably have nine potential games before the cut-off point, the big man may need to tread carefully. Let’s hope it effects his game.

I’m all for positivity but some Rovers fans seem to be getting a little ahead of themselves by imagining us top in just over a weeks time, after Barnet have drawn against the Mariners and we have won our two home games within four days. Our games against Altrincham and Braintree Town are perfect banana skins though. If you simply look at their names, and the table, most people will murmur ‘home banker’, but both are actually in a rich vein of form that belies their 15th and 16th places, respectively. Braintree also have several games in hand on other clubs. Altrincham have 13 points from their last six games, whereas both us and Braintree have 12, so there really is not a lot of choose between us. We are joint top of the home form table, but The Robins and The Iron hold respectable positions in the away form table, at joint sixth, and ninth.

I suspect the pushover performance we gave to Lincoln City may be swapped for the grinding one-goal victories we witnessed earlier in the season (think Telford, Wrexham, and Dartford) when remarkably Darrell Clarke was fighting for his job. Us Gasheads may be required to demonstrate some patience and not get on anyone’s backs if we don’t speedily romp into unassailable leads.

Being a Braintree Town fan is an exciting life though. They have only drawn three times this season, none of them away from Cressing Road, and now face a hideous triumvirate of away games at FC Halifax Town, us and Grimsby Town in a stretch of merely eight days. Let’s hope that for once the mainly discredited idea that part-timers suffer when face with several games (or long away trips) in a short space of time will finally come true.

By a quirk of fate they are the only two teams left who could potentially do a home and away double over us, as we lost to both away in the first 30 days of the season. Rather surprisingly two teams have already done a double over Barnet, namely Lincoln City and Wrexham. And it would be another great 24 little hours if Grimsby dealt them their third next Saturday. Although Grimsby fans are now extremely worried about their promotion chances, and especially their creative abilities, they still have the second meanest defence in the league (after us) and the best away record.

Come on you fish ticklers!

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Martin Bull became a Gashead in 1989 and immediately fell in love with Twerton Park, standing near G pillar. In 2006 he wrote, photographed and published the first independent book about the artist Banksy. Having been exiled for much of his past, away games have always been special for him; so much so that he has just produced a new book about them, in collaboration with Rovers fans far and wide, young and old - www.awaythegas.org.uk

probably loads of them.  maybe Bannister and Warboys did one

The song was based on a song actually written by a Mexican lady, Maria Grever - “Cuando vuelva a tu lado” ("When I Return to Your Side"... or is it "When I eat Carrots on the side dish" )

The English version was adapted by the lyricist Stanley Adams.

Good piece that.

Full Text below >>>>


BRISTOL ROVERS BLOG: G is for Gas - Beware the ides of March

 Posted: March 03, 2015

By MARTIN BULL

Well, we did it. We reached the top. For the first time since 11th March 2000.

Of course we are under no illusions that we will stay there all the way until late April, but we certainly stand a better chance than our infamous implosion under Ian Holloway 15 years ago and I’d certainly prefer to have our league stats (20 matches unbeaten, 15 matches unbeaten away from home, one loss in 30 matches, best home record in the division), than the inconsistency of most of the other clubs around us.

The team that, until a weekend thrashing, could not be considered to be inconsistent was Macclesfield Town, partly because they were unbeaten in the six games since we flayed them alive at Christmas, but partly because last week they couldn’t play either of their games, so despite us only squeaking successive home victories at least we got them ‘in the bag’.

Add to that another crucial 1-0 win at Gateshead (our eighth 1-0 of the season) and our stats now almost match those of Gerry Francis’s all conquering 1990 Third Tier Champions; we are just two points and six goals short after 37 games, whilst both had a miserly defence that had conceded only 27 goals.

Gateshead and FC Halifax Town are also still a tad of an unknown quantity as they have so many games in hand, and Halifax not only have most of the top teams left to play (including us once and Barnet twice), but have only played five league games since 2014 and their pitch currently resembles the practise ground of the West Yorkshire Young Yokels Ploughing Club.

Whilst the Shaymen’s pasture may be causing furrowed brows, the Mem could almost host the Crown Green Bowls World Cup, and is surely helping us to play our own game in these crucial home matches against so-called ‘easy’ opposition.

It is probably helping the opposition as well though, as the stereotype of the lumpen non-league player seems to be sorely out-of-date, especially for midfielders and wide players.

With Alan Devonshire in charge it was hardly unexpected that Braintree Town would possess some skilful players. Devonshire was one of my boyhood heroes of a West Ham United team oozing a mix of East end iron (Lampard Snr, Billy Bonds, Ray Stewart, Alvin Martin, etc) and skill and guile (Trevor Brooking, Paul Allen and Dev).

But like so many in football, his break almost never came, being discarded twice by Crystal Palace as a youngster (the second time by future Rovers manager Malcolm Allison) and ending up playing for Southall in his spare time and fork lift driving at the amazing art-deco Hoover building on the A40 by day. West Ham did finally spot him, aged 20, and that was that for 14 years of a celebrated career.

Obviously Simeon Akinola could not fail to catch the eye with his devastating pace and athleticism, and I cannot remember the last time an opposition player was applauded for his goal rather than chided for celebrating near the raucous North Terrace. Watford’s Bernard Mensah also looked a handful, back again on loan with the Iron after only being used sparingly by Barnet when on loan there earlier in the season.

Until 44BC, the Ides (15th) of March was pretty much as standard for the Roman Republic of the era; a day of religious sacrifice, plus the incomparable Feast of Anna Perenna, where the plebs got to have a yearly booze up that seems to have resembled our snogging of strangers on New Year‘s Eve. When a seer warned Julius Caesar that harm would come to him by the time of the Ides of March, the big man may well have scoffed, but on that fateful day he was indeed assassinated, by his own senators.

March could well be a tough month for us, although I somehow doubt Darrell Clarke will be uttering ‘Et tu, Higgsy?’. We host potentially our hardest home opponents remaining (Eastleigh), and although Aldershot Town may not look like a hard game on paper, games against relegation threatened clubs are always hard at this stage of the season, and frankly every promotion contender has a smattering of them. Add to this mix probably our two hardest away games, as we visit Macclesfield Town, who have the second best home record this season (after us), and FC Halifax Town, who have the third best, although their credentials are somewhat incomplete as they still have four of the top six to play.

Looking back to last season’s Conference battle, leaders Luton Town had an unusually poor March 2014, with three wins, two draws and a brace of defeats. That may not sound too bad until you realise that those were their first defeats since early September, that they had won all four matches in February (2-1, 7-0, 5-0 and 5-0 again!), and overall had won 12 out of the previous 13 games, with a goal difference of +40. Some of those figures may resonate this season with statistically-minded gasheads! Despite this sticky patch their lead only reduced by a solitary point as several teams stumbled, including Barnet, who earned only four points from six matches during March and dropped from third place to ninth.

Personally I think we have nothing to get edgy about. We have got far higher that anyone expected this season and I still think the pressure is on Barnet, especially until they use their game in hand, as many of their fans are still bullish that they hold their own destiny in their hands. We certainly are struggling to win easily, but we are winning, and a thousand football teams all over the globe would love to be in that situation.

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Martin Bull became a Gashead in 1989 and immediately fell in love with Twerton Park, standing near G pillar. In 2006 he wrote, photographed and published the first independent book about the artist Banksy. Having been exiled for much of his past, away games have always been special for him; so much so that he has just produced a new book about them, in collaboration with Rovers fans far and wide, young and old - www.awaythegas.org.uk

Read more: www.bristolpost.co.uk/BRISTOL-ROVERS-BLOG-G-Gas-Beware-ides-March/story-26107981-detail/story.html#ixzz3TMukaciW

Latest blog is available now - "Came as a neutral, left as a fan"

If you turn around 3 times (to the left), and repeat the 1990 Championship winning squad, you can read it for free.

www.bristolpost.co.uk/BRISTOL-ROVERS-BLOG-G-Gas-Came-neutral-left-fan/story-26190540-detail/story.html


Away games do funny things to a person. One of my brothers took a friend along to the FC Halifax Town match at the weekend. It was only the second live match Maki had ever been to, and her first taste of Gas.

new week, new blog.

www.bristolpost.co.uk/BRISTOL-ROVERS-BLOG-G-Gas-unity-strength/story-26261292-detail/story.html



BRISTOL ROVERS BLOG: G is for Gas - Where there is unity there is strength

Posted: April 01, 2015

By Martin Bull


It’s that time of the year again and the BRFC 1883 Sponsors Club is upon us.

If you are wondering what on earth that is you won’t be looked down upon (much), as it is primarily aimed at businesses rather than terrace dwellers like you and I. But it does affect us, the supporters, as it determines what sponsor will be emblazoned on the famous blue and white quarters next season, as well at the less famous yellow/white/purple/black/green away kit (delete as applicable).

For £1200 a pop, ‘sponsors’ get entered into a draw to win one of five prizes, including their name/logo as the sponsor for the whole season on either the home kit, the away kit or the back of the shorts. To significantly sweeten the odds, every sponsor also gets a very generous hospitality package, a signed football, and their name up in miniature lights in every programme and on the club website.

At this point it may seem as if this is an advertorial for the club I support, but bear with me, there are two clear reasons why this deserves column inches, and why my independence can still always be guaranteed.

As an economic slump hit the country in the late 2000’s, and Rovers confronted the end of an 11-year marriage of convenience to Cowlin Construction, football sponsorship was exactly the kind of expense a lot of belt-tightening businesses could painlessly chop. Justifying between £50,000and £100,000 to sponsor a relative minnow was getting harder and harder and several football clubs ended up with nothing on the front of their shirts at all. Like a rogue landlord who didn’t want to reduce the rent on their flea pit, they cut their nose off to spite their face, worried that a cut-price agreement would forever see prospective sponsors expecting bargain deals, even when the economy had recovered; which would be next year, wouldn’t it?

Of course we now know the recovery didn’t happen the next year, nor the following years, which re-iterated just how prescient the Rovers idea was, as it still delivers the goods seven seasons later. At the time of conception in 2009 the 1883 Sponsors Club was a very innovative idea and one we can be proud of. It was spectacularly successful, with all 96 slots sold, and was subsequently copied by other sporting clubs.

So, what’s to stop an innovative offer being taken up by another innovative club? Well, nothing. Which is why it is quite amazing that within just the last few weeks the ‘Fans Forum Sponsor Club’ (FFSC) has managed to raise the necessary lolly to enter the draw for next season. The FFSC was started in January 2013 by ordinary, run of the mill fans on the official BRFC internet forum in order to support the club. That support came primarily through sponsorship of matches and of players who may not normally attract a backer. For just £10 a season a club ‘member’ would not just get the warm fuzzy feeling of financially supporting the club they follow, but also the chance to win various prizes such as hospitality places at sponsored games, and the actual shirts of the players they had been sponsoring. As the idea snowballed the impact was amazing, especially on young players.

Can you imagine how it must feel to be a younger footballer knowing that all the well-known names in the squad have their kits sponsored by businesses, pubs and the odd individual Gashead, whereas yours most probably won’t be? But one day along comes a member of the BRFC back-room staff and tells you that the Fans Forum have chosen to sponsor yours! That must make you feel on top of the world, and really part of a close-knit relationship between young players and fans.

Off the pitch many FFSC members have met new friends, which is entirely fitting considering one of its aims is to encourage unity and positivity. Ex-players Devon White and Christian McClean have been staggered at the interest shown in them when they were invited to be FFSC guests.

Unfortunately the football club didn’t spend money wisely last season and a catalogue of errors ended in relegation, despite the best efforts of loyal, genuine, and generous Rovers fans all over the world. In the face of that kick in the teeth, and the shocking unilateral closure of the official internet forum once the Board decided they didn’t want to face the criticism of their inept servitude of a 131 year-old club, the FFSC has survived.

It has now raised an astonishing £11,500 for the club so far, and this season has sponsored nine players, many of them youngsters and new arrivals.

It’s not too late to join the FFSC - details are available on the various Rovers internet forums.

Meanwhile, on the pitch, the twists and turns continue with Rovers disappointingly now third, but no further away from Barnet. Whilst the performance at fourth-placed Macclesfield Town was hardly inspiring, it was probably the hardest game that any of the top four had left to play. Bees and Pirates both seemed to feel their teams played poor, but what both results showed was that no team in this division is dominant away from home, and one goal leads are always suspect. The Bees hold a connected, and unwanted, stat; the first day of November was the last time they won an away game without being two goals ahead at some point in the match. Since then they have squandered winning positions three times, and have only 15 away points from a possible 33 (Grimsby have 24, and we have 19). Despite our 18-match unbeaten away run, draws are still costing us and we only have the sixth best away record in the league. Wins at Kidderminster Harriers and Dover Athletic are now imperative, and another kick in the teeth from that old devil called ‘Goal Difference’ will not be welcomed after last years’ calamity.

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Martin Bull became a Gashead in 1989 and immediately fell in love with Twerton Park, standing near G pillar. In 2006 he wrote, photographed and published the first independent book about the artist Banksy. Having been exiled for much of his past, away games have always been special for him; so much so that he has just finished a new book about them - www.awaythegas.org.uk

Read more: www.bristolpost.co.uk/BRISTOL-ROVERS-BLOG-G-Gas-unity-strength/story-26261292-detail/story.html?dwrMeth=addComment&afterReg=Y#ixzz3W4AgXblC