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Post by Deleted on Jul 25, 2017 22:27:56 GMT
*** BREAKING NEWS ***
EARTHQUAKE in South Bristol.
An earthquake measuring 4.3 on the Richter scale hit South Bristol in the early hours, with the epicentre hitting Hartcliffe.
Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "Fuuuckinell".
The tremor decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from Brean and WSM were damaged beyond repair.
Many locals were woken well before their giros arrived.
The Bristol Evening Post reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still coming to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in South Bristol.
One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said, "it was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes come running into my bedroom crying.
My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all.
I was still shaking when I was skinning up and watching Jeremy Kyle the next morning".
The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship crates of White Lightning to some of the stricken locals.
Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
There is an appeal to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster.
Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:
Snap back hats
Full matching tracksuits
Nike Huarachi trainers
Tartan pyjamas
UGG Boots and any other items usually sold in Primark.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
Microwave meals, Pot Noodles, Tins of baked beans, ice cream, Cans of Strong Bow or Special Brew and of course pies.
22p buys a biro for filling in compensation forms.
£10 buys B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.
£15 buys chips, crisps and Panda Pops for a family of 9.😂😂😂
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Post by Deleted on Jul 26, 2017 6:27:59 GMT
Seen the news from around the world?
Not many laughing at you using their real circumstances as the basis for an very unfunny joke
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Post by Deleted on Jul 26, 2017 6:52:02 GMT
Seen the news from around the world? Not many laughing at you using their real circumstances as the basis for an very unfunny joke Les, have you had a sense of humour by-pass operation? |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 26, 2017 7:04:21 GMT
Seen the news from around the world? Not many laughing at you using their real circumstances as the basis for an very unfunny joke Les, have you had a sense of humour by-pass operation? It seems so Nobby |
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Post by William Wilson on Jul 26, 2017 7:07:19 GMT
Seen the news from around the world? Not many laughing at you using their real circumstances as the basis for an very unfunny joke Perhaps he posted the joke, before he saw the news. |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 26, 2017 7:20:30 GMT
Seen the news from around the world? Not many laughing at you using their real circumstances as the basis for an very unfunny joke Perhaps he posted the joke, before he saw the news. Hello Stalker That would be like the referendum on membership of the EU then. Voting leave without any clue of the consequences. Yep, yer right, I can see yer point. |
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Post by LJG on Jul 26, 2017 8:33:22 GMT
Perhaps he posted the joke, before he saw the news. Hello Stalker That would be like the referendum on membership of the EU then. Voting leave without any clue of the consequences. Yep, yer right, I can see yer point. Enlighten us. |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 26, 2017 8:57:33 GMT
Hello Stalker That would be like the referendum on membership of the EU then. Voting leave without any clue of the consequences. Yep, yer right, I can see yer point. Enlighten us. Shall we start with a proposed £66billion bill |
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Post by LJG on Jul 26, 2017 9:05:03 GMT
Shall we start with a proposed £66billion bill If you like. Tell me more. |
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Post by Hugo the Elder on Jul 26, 2017 9:47:51 GMT
Well that escalated quickly.
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Post by William Wilson on Jul 26, 2017 10:18:47 GMT
Well that escalated quickly. Things always do when Oldie gives us his, er, thoughts on the EU referendum. |
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Post by Hugo the Elder on Jul 26, 2017 11:58:40 GMT
Well that escalated quickly. Things always do when Oldie gives us his, er, thoughts on the EU referendum. Couldnt you just ignore one another? I'm sure you'd both be happier that way. |
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Post by baggins on Jul 26, 2017 11:59:23 GMT
Things always do when Oldie gives us his, er, thoughts on the EU referendum. Couldnt you just ignore one another? I'm sure you'd both be happier that way. Worked for us. |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 26, 2017 13:47:27 GMT
Shall we start with a proposed £66billion bill Tsk, that damned Brexit eh? "The ONS Q2 fall in manufacturing is due to a significant drop in the manufacture of cars. Elsewhere it’s a different picture if you read the new CBI Quarterly Trends survey, a long-standing survey of 397 blue-chip manufacturers which shows the state of Britain PLC. This quarter is astounding when you remember the predictions of economic disaster rolled out by George Osborne last year. The numbers are awesome:
32% of manufacturers said employee numbers with headcount increasing at the fastest rate for three years and hiring intentions for the coming quarter also improved. Expectations for growth in export orders improved to a four-decade high. Export optimism is strong, 43% of firms said the volume of output over the past three months was up – the highest since January 1995. 35% of businesses reported an increase in total orders. Domestic orders were up +19%, with export orders growth remaining strong at +17%. Alongside robust expectations for demand, firms accumulated raw materials at the fastest pace in forty years and stocks of work-in-progress expanded at a record rate. Strong confidence levels saw stock building of raw materials (+20%) which was the strongest since April 1977 (+22%), whilst stocks of work-in-progress rose (+16%). By any measure these are good numbers, in the context of Osborne’s predictions for an immediate economic collapse, job losses, a collapse of business confidence and investment, these numbers are awesome." |
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Post by Hugo the Elder on Jul 26, 2017 16:01:55 GMT
Shall we start with a proposed £66billion bill Tsk, that damned Brexit eh? "The ONS Q2 fall in manufacturing is due to a significant drop in the manufacture of cars. Elsewhere it’s a different picture if you read the new CBI Quarterly Trends survey, a long-standing survey of 397 blue-chip manufacturers which shows the state of Britain PLC. This quarter is astounding when you remember the predictions of economic disaster rolled out by George Osborne last year. The numbers are awesome:
32% of manufacturers said employee numbers with headcount increasing at the fastest rate for three years and hiring intentions for the coming quarter also improved. Expectations for growth in export orders improved to a four-decade high. Export optimism is strong, 43% of firms said the volume of output over the past three months was up – the highest since January 1995. 35% of businesses reported an increase in total orders. Domestic orders were up +19%, with export orders growth remaining strong at +17%. Alongside robust expectations for demand, firms accumulated raw materials at the fastest pace in forty years and stocks of work-in-progress expanded at a record rate. Strong confidence levels saw stock building of raw materials (+20%) which was the strongest since April 1977 (+22%), whilst stocks of work-in-progress rose (+16%). By any measure these are good numbers, in the context of Osborne’s predictions for an immediate economic collapse, job losses, a collapse of business confidence and investment, these numbers are awesome." So your hero Gorgeous George f**ked up or lied? |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 26, 2017 16:06:32 GMT
Tsk, that damned Brexit eh? "The ONS Q2 fall in manufacturing is due to a significant drop in the manufacture of cars. Elsewhere it’s a different picture if you read the new CBI Quarterly Trends survey, a long-standing survey of 397 blue-chip manufacturers which shows the state of Britain PLC. This quarter is astounding when you remember the predictions of economic disaster rolled out by George Osborne last year. The numbers are awesome:
32% of manufacturers said employee numbers with headcount increasing at the fastest rate for three years and hiring intentions for the coming quarter also improved. Expectations for growth in export orders improved to a four-decade high. Export optimism is strong, 43% of firms said the volume of output over the past three months was up – the highest since January 1995. 35% of businesses reported an increase in total orders. Domestic orders were up +19%, with export orders growth remaining strong at +17%. Alongside robust expectations for demand, firms accumulated raw materials at the fastest pace in forty years and stocks of work-in-progress expanded at a record rate. Strong confidence levels saw stock building of raw materials (+20%) which was the strongest since April 1977 (+22%), whilst stocks of work-in-progress rose (+16%). By any measure these are good numbers, in the context of Osborne’s predictions for an immediate economic collapse, job losses, a collapse of business confidence and investment, these numbers are awesome." So your hero Gorgeous George f**ked up or lied? Never my hero........but he told some outrageous lies leading up to the Brexit vote. |
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Post by LJG on Jul 26, 2017 16:15:29 GMT
Tsk, that damned Brexit eh? "The ONS Q2 fall in manufacturing is due to a significant drop in the manufacture of cars. Elsewhere it’s a different picture if you read the new CBI Quarterly Trends survey, a long-standing survey of 397 blue-chip manufacturers which shows the state of Britain PLC. This quarter is astounding when you remember the predictions of economic disaster rolled out by George Osborne last year. The numbers are awesome:
32% of manufacturers said employee numbers with headcount increasing at the fastest rate for three years and hiring intentions for the coming quarter also improved. Expectations for growth in export orders improved to a four-decade high. Export optimism is strong, 43% of firms said the volume of output over the past three months was up – the highest since January 1995. 35% of businesses reported an increase in total orders. Domestic orders were up +19%, with export orders growth remaining strong at +17%. Alongside robust expectations for demand, firms accumulated raw materials at the fastest pace in forty years and stocks of work-in-progress expanded at a record rate. Strong confidence levels saw stock building of raw materials (+20%) which was the strongest since April 1977 (+22%), whilst stocks of work-in-progress rose (+16%). By any measure these are good numbers, in the context of Osborne’s predictions for an immediate economic collapse, job losses, a collapse of business confidence and investment, these numbers are awesome." So your hero Gorgeous George f**ked up or lied? Lied. Straight up. Same as the rest of the fear mongers who had an interest in preserving their opportunity to work in Brussels and line up an EU pension. |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 26, 2017 17:55:41 GMT
Seen the news from around the world? Not many laughing at you using their real circumstances as the basis for an very unfunny joke lighten up FFS its a dig at the TEDS but hey ho guessed you missed that plus ive only just seen the news |
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Post by William Wilson on Jul 27, 2017 6:41:39 GMT
Things always do when Oldie gives us his, er, thoughts on the EU referendum. Couldnt you just ignore one another? I'm sure you'd both be happier that way. Ignore each other?? What would we do for a life? |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2017 7:57:41 GMT
Couldnt you just ignore one another? I'm sure you'd both be happier that way. Ignore each other?? What would we do for a life? 🤣🤣🤣😍 |
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