Holidays

Mate,

I lost ( always found that a very weird word to use about a death) my two Brothers at 52 & 65 then my parents at 89 & 84. All of this between 2009 till Sept 2013. During this time I have had cancerous growths removed from my colon and have had to take very harsh and very old chemo drugs to lower my immune system. I had the council try to take my parents house as payment for mums care, although they had no right to do so. I was in a constant state if anger, sadness, fear and it very nearly made me do something very silly. I was a proper lunatic mate, none of the meds to calm me worked and I was spiralling into a very bad place.
I consider myself very lucky Sophie took me on and has been a rock throughout this sh**. I used to wake up thinking that I wished I had not. I REALLY do know how you feel and how very personal the I/S situation can feel.
My own way in dealing with this is to keep busy. I have decorated the house, am now sorting the garden. I have got involved with the Bristol boxing boys and help out with bag and pad work. I have been going gliding more now and I find that when I am in the air, I gain a really good perspective on much that hurt me. To see how tiny we all really are is a humbling experience. I am also around midway through finishing what will be my first novel but I have to iron out the legalities as I will need to use different names and dates so as not to get anyone into trouble. Tentative titles for it are " I was a junkies memory" or " Junkie's Monkey" as both Brothers died from longterm use of Heroin and crack.
I hope you manage to find some real inner peace mucker. I am reliably told it can take 5 years to come to terms with a death. I guess we all have to find our own ways through it all.
Be kind to yourself.