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Post by Gasshole on Feb 11, 2016 23:22:16 GMT
You can't deny that the standard of posting has slipped since we passed page 200 Hugo, surely! Up until that point there was still a small shred of optimism left in some of us. I feel somewhat crushed that the most excitement we can have now is listening to Nobby tell his Norwegian tales. Now, one of the problems of being one of Lizzie's loyal servants was the annual Winter Deployment to Norway, well, the deployment isn't that much of a problem, but there are strings attached to it. One such string was the act of 'doing a No.2' when you were out in the snow/ice/mountains. A lot of the training areas are in fact National Parks. This means that during the winter, the men could not do a No.2 anywhere. You couldn't just pop behind a tree or a rock to drop one, because it would just freeze and not decompose, then when the snow melted in the Spring, the National Park would be covered by literally thousands of No 2's dropped by our fine Corp of men. This of course, we could not allow to happen. So, we had to do our No 2's in what was called a 'Thunderbox'. Basically a cardboard box with an oval cut out of the top. You didn't sit on it, but just sort of 'hung' over the top, with legs akimbo to do your business. This only worked if we were stationary for the night and the Thunderboxes were available. Sometimes, during daytime moves, we passed Public Loos in the mountains. These were single room bogs with just a piece of wood over a large hole. There would be five or six holes cut in the wood. One day, as we moved about I spied one of these delightful places, and being caught short, as it were, decided to pop in and actually sit down for a dump, something that can only be described as a luxury in the mountains of Norway. So there I was, trousers and shreddies around my ankles, purring with delight to actually be sat down while having a dump, when the door opened and in walked this stunning woman. Norway is full of stunning people. The long blonde hair, skin like a peach, lightly tanned, teeth like pearls and beautiful blue eyes......and that was just the blokes ! Anyway, in she comes, we both nodded politely and mumbled an 'hello'.....quite surreal....she then unzips thing, unties things, drops things, and then sits on the hole two away from me, whereupon she sort of half closed her eyes, and gave out that little sigh we all recognize as the start of a delightful dump. Well, to say I was staggered would be the understatement of the century. Quite often we would pass locals out skiing during the day, but I really didn't expect this. It quite put me off my stroke. I remember looking at her and thinking if it was worth trying to trap her and get a date, but I decided that the situation we were both in wasn't really what would be called a 'romantic situation'. I tell you, having a stunning woman come into the bog to have a dump next to you can actually be quite distressing. I was in a right funk. It's just not cricket. To keep things topical, I think we will win 2-0 on Saturday. whooooa back the tank up there soldier. You were stroking it? |
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Post by Gasshole on Feb 11, 2016 23:27:36 GMT
I believe. I believe i am insane. Cuckoo. PS can it wait till Tuesday, i am busy on Monday. |
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Post by Dr Gas on Feb 12, 2016 0:14:42 GMT
I believe. I believe i am insane. Cuckoo. PS can it wait till Tuesday, i am busy on Monday. Monday here will be Tuesday to you innit? |
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Post by Gasshole on Feb 12, 2016 1:33:02 GMT
I believe. I believe i am insane. Cuckoo. PS can it wait till Tuesday, i am busy on Monday. Monday here will be Tuesday to you innit? Nice one Doc, I feel like an idiot. Do I get my own village now? |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2016 7:21:44 GMT
Now, one of the problems of being one of Lizzie's loyal servants was the annual Winter Deployment to Norway, well, the deployment isn't that much of a problem, but there are strings attached to it. One such string was the act of 'doing a No.2' when you were out in the snow/ice/mountains. A lot of the training areas are in fact National Parks. This means that during the winter, the men could not do a No.2 anywhere. You couldn't just pop behind a tree or a rock to drop one, because it would just freeze and not decompose, then when the snow melted in the Spring, the National Park would be covered by literally thousands of No 2's dropped by our fine Corp of men. This of course, we could not allow to happen. So, we had to do our No 2's in what was called a 'Thunderbox'. Basically a cardboard box with an oval cut out of the top. You didn't sit on it, but just sort of 'hung' over the top, with legs akimbo to do your business. This only worked if we were stationary for the night and the Thunderboxes were available. Sometimes, during daytime moves, we passed Public Loos in the mountains. These were single room bogs with just a piece of wood over a large hole. There would be five or six holes cut in the wood. One day, as we moved about I spied one of these delightful places, and being caught short, as it were, decided to pop in and actually sit down for a dump, something that can only be described as a luxury in the mountains of Norway. So there I was, trousers and shreddies around my ankles, purring with delight to actually be sat down while having a dump, when the door opened and in walked this stunning woman. Norway is full of stunning people. The long blonde hair, skin like a peach, lightly tanned, teeth like pearls and beautiful blue eyes......and that was just the blokes ! Anyway, in she comes, we both nodded politely and mumbled an 'hello'.....quite surreal....she then unzips thing, unties things, drops things, and then sits on the hole two away from me, whereupon she sort of half closed her eyes, and gave out that little sigh we all recognize as the start of a delightful dump. Well, to say I was staggered would be the understatement of the century. Quite often we would pass locals out skiing during the day, but I really didn't expect this. It quite put me off my stroke. I remember looking at her and thinking if it was worth trying to trap her and get a date, but I decided that the situation we were both in wasn't really what would be called a 'romantic situation'. I tell you, having a stunning woman come into the bog to have a dump next to you can actually be quite distressing. I was in a right funk. It's just not cricket. To keep things topical, I think we will win 2-0 on Saturday. whooooa back the tank up there soldier. You were stroking it? Noooo. The temperature was probably around -15 so it'll take a better man than me to get excited in those conditions. I'm now looking forward to discounted holidays for Gasheads in Jordan. Diving in the Gulf of Aqaba, relaxing in the sun, visits to the fantastic city of Petra. Oh yes sirree, the days of snow and cold are behind me. |
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Post by philbemmygas on Feb 12, 2016 8:04:24 GMT
Now, one of the problems of being one of Lizzie's loyal servants was the annual Winter Deployment to Norway, well, the deployment isn't that much of a problem, but there are strings attached to it. One such string was the act of 'doing a No.2' when you were out in the snow/ice/mountains. A lot of the training areas are in fact National Parks. This means that during the winter, the men could not do a No.2 anywhere. You couldn't just pop behind a tree or a rock to drop one, because it would just freeze and not decompose, then when the snow melted in the Spring, the National Park would be covered by literally thousands of No 2's dropped by our fine Corp of men. This of course, we could not allow to happen. So, we had to do our No 2's in what was called a 'Thunderbox'. Basically a cardboard box with an oval cut out of the top. You didn't sit on it, but just sort of 'hung' over the top, with legs akimbo to do your business. This only worked if we were stationary for the night and the Thunderboxes were available. Sometimes, during daytime moves, we passed Public Loos in the mountains. These were single room bogs with just a piece of wood over a large hole. There would be five or six holes cut in the wood. One day, as we moved about I spied one of these delightful places, and being caught short, as it were, decided to pop in and actually sit down for a dump, something that can only be described as a luxury in the mountains of Norway. So there I was, trousers and shreddies around my ankles, purring with delight to actually be sat down while having a dump, when the door opened and in walked this stunning woman. Norway is full of stunning people. The long blonde hair, skin like a peach, lightly tanned, teeth like pearls and beautiful blue eyes......and that was just the blokes ! Anyway, in she comes, we both nodded politely and mumbled an 'hello'.....quite surreal....she then unzips thing, unties things, drops things, and then sits on the hole two away from me, whereupon she sort of half closed her eyes, and gave out that little sigh we all recognize as the start of a delightful dump. Well, to say I was staggered would be the understatement of the century. Quite often we would pass locals out skiing during the day, but I really didn't expect this. It quite put me off my stroke. I remember looking at her and thinking if it was worth trying to trap her and get a date, but I decided that the situation we were both in wasn't really what would be called a 'romantic situation'. I tell you, having a stunning woman come into the bog to have a dump next to you can actually be quite distressing. I was in a right funk. It's just not cricket. To keep things topical, I think we will win 2-0 on Saturday. whooooa back the tank up there soldier. You were stroking it? Whoa whoa back up there fellow, don't mention Tanks and Soldier in the same breath as the Naval Infanteer it will bring him out in a rash. A small dit for those interested in the act Nobby was referring to from the North German plains. In the camp at Rheinsahlen the used to have these ancient crappers that were literally a shed over the sewer, there was a line of seats with only a small partition between each for a modicum of privacy. Young lad on deployment with us was warned to slam the seat down before carrying out the act to scare the rats off. One day he went over the airfield carrying his bog roll so one of the old hands followed him, he sat down without slamming the seat, so Fred went in the next trap and leaned under and pinched him on the buttocks. Loud scream followed by young Pete running out of the shed with his combats round his ankles. How we laughed, anyway back on subject. Gas invasion of the sarf coast tomorrow, let's be aving you! |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2016 8:54:45 GMT
whooooa back the tank up there soldier. You were stroking it? Whoa whoa back up there fellow, don't mention Tanks and Soldier in the same breath as the Naval Infanteer it will bring him out in a rash. A small dit for those interested in the act Nobby was referring to from the North German plains. In the camp at Rheinsahlen the used to have these ancient crappers that were literally a shed over the sewer, there was a line of seats with only a small partition between each for a modicum of privacy. Young lad on deployment with us was warned to slam the seat down before carrying out the act to scare the rats off. One day he went over the airfield carrying his bog roll so one of the old hands followed him, he sat down without slamming the seat, so Fred went in the next trap and leaned under and pinched him on the buttocks. Loud scream followed by young Pete running out of the shed with his combats round his ankles. How we laughed, anyway back on subject. Gas invasion of the sarf coast tomorrow, let's be aving you! It's small stories like that one, that can still make you smile/laugh years later. Anyone who has served in any arm will have loads of stories just like this. |
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Post by hometobarnsley on Feb 12, 2016 10:17:31 GMT
I think he was referring to Jordan the model not the country? erm. so was I. |
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Post by Hugo the Elder on Feb 12, 2016 10:34:31 GMT
When are the mods going to shut all this stuff down? Interesting stuff gets put in general chat to die, but this nonsense lingers on. Don't get it. Tuesday morning. This thread should go to the Legendary section when it eventually dies. Its been like a dear old friend. One that I didn't really like but felt sorry for. And that wet itself occasionally. |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2016 10:41:16 GMT
This thread should go to the Legendary section when it eventually dies. Its been like a dear old friend. One that I didn't really like but felt sorry for. And that wet itself occasionally. Yeah, we all know who you are talking about. I think the old dear (this thread) still has some life left in her. She's not ready yet for the knacker's yard. Let's not forget, according to gasincider, and his source, Deep Throat, there is another consortium lurking out there in the shadows. There could well be a bidding war going on as we speak. |
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Post by lpgas on Feb 12, 2016 15:15:52 GMT
This thread should go to the Legendary section when it eventually dies. Its been like a dear old friend. One that I didn't really like but felt sorry for. And that wet itself occasionally. Yeah, we all know who you are talking about. I think the old dear (this thread) still has some life left in her. She's not ready yet for the knacker's yard. Let's not forget, according to gasincider, and his source, Deep Throat, there is another consortium lurking out there in the shadows. There could well be a bidding war going on as we speak. Bidding war! Ha! just imagine it. "It's yours you have it" "No you were first you have it" |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2016 20:29:14 GMT
You can't deny that the standard of posting has slipped since we passed page 200 Hugo, surely! Up until that point there was still a small shred of optimism left in some of us. I feel somewhat crushed that the most excitement we can have now is listening to Nobby tell his Norwegian tales. Now, one of the problems of being one of Lizzie's loyal servants was the annual Winter Deployment to Norway, well, the deployment isn't that much of a problem, but there are strings attached to it. One such string was the act of 'doing a No.2' when you were out in the snow/ice/mountains. A lot of the training areas are in fact National Parks. This means that during the winter, the men could not do a No.2 anywhere. You couldn't just pop behind a tree or a rock to drop one, because it would just freeze and not decompose, then when the snow melted in the Spring, the National Park would be covered by literally thousands of No 2's dropped by our fine Corp of men. This of course, we could not allow to happen. So, we had to do our No 2's in what was called a 'Thunderbox'. Basically a cardboard box with an oval cut out of the top. You didn't sit on it, but just sort of 'hung' over the top, with legs akimbo to do your business. This only worked if we were stationary for the night and the Thunderboxes were available. Sometimes, during daytime moves, we passed Public Loos in the mountains. These were single room bogs with just a piece of wood over a large hole. There would be five or six holes cut in the wood. One day, as we moved about I spied one of these delightful places, and being caught short, as it were, decided to pop in and actually sit down for a dump, something that can only be described as a luxury in the mountains of Norway. So there I was, trousers and shreddies around my ankles, purring with delight to actually be sat down while having a dump, when the door opened and in walked this stunning woman. Norway is full of stunning people. The long blonde hair, skin like a peach, lightly tanned, teeth like pearls and beautiful blue eyes......and that was just the blokes ! Anyway, in she comes, we both nodded politely and mumbled an 'hello'.....quite surreal....she then unzips thing, unties things, drops things, and then sits on the hole two away from me, whereupon she sort of half closed her eyes, and gave out that little sigh we all recognize as the start of a delightful dump. Well, to say I was staggered would be the understatement of the century. Quite often we would pass locals out skiing during the day, but I really didn't expect this. It quite put me off my stroke. I remember looking at her and thinking if it was worth trying to trap her and get a date, but I decided that the situation we were both in wasn't really what would be called a 'romantic situation'. I tell you, having a stunning woman come into the bog to have a dump next to you can actually be quite distressing. I was in a right funk. It's just not cricket. To keep things topical, I think we will win 2-0 on Saturday. Seems gen. |
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Post by lpgas on Feb 13, 2016 14:38:09 GMT
Bump
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Post by philbemmygas on Feb 13, 2016 21:22:23 GMT
Can confirm Nick Higgs is not on holiday as I spoke to him briefly outside of the ground after today's game
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2016 21:27:17 GMT
Can confirm Nick Higgs is not on holiday as I spoke to him briefly outside of the ground after today's game did you see any JORDANIAN looking peeps with him? |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2016 22:18:58 GMT
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Post by Topper Gas on Feb 13, 2016 22:22:33 GMT
It only took a poster 15 mins to see though this rumour? Ermm that article is dated sept last year!! And they haven't been bought as yet |
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Post by Strange Gas on Feb 13, 2016 22:51:17 GMT
Went for a beer with my uncle before game today. He's a Pompey fan of 60 years and was telling me about their fair share of fake sheikhs. Apparently it is a bit of a standing joke for them as they had a couple of dodgy owners after mandaric and always have rumours of more. One owner was so awful he couldn't leave his country as he was under an arrest warrant, so spent his cash but never saw his team play!
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Post by philbemmygas on Feb 14, 2016 13:38:47 GMT
Can confirm Nick Higgs is not on holiday as I spoke to him briefly outside of the ground after today's game did you see any JORDANIAN looking peeps with him? Nope he was alone |
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Post by orgasmic on Feb 14, 2016 22:03:23 GMT
Heard a rumour that there's a Jordanian based consortium...
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