Nuisance calls

I also have had those same calls in Germany. Depends on the situation, but in the past I have told them to just 'hang on while I switch my computer on'. I then wait a bit, and now and again ask them a stupid question like, "was it the Windows PC you're interested in?"......and then let the phone just sit there for ages.

If I don't have the time to play games I have a whistle by the phone, and I just blow that down the line! They soon hang up.

I'm with you. f**k off is universally understood in all languages. My dad used to leave the phone on the table and go back to whatever he was doing beforehand. They hang up when they've had enough of waiting.
I've done Mr Angry and Achmed The Dead Terrorist on them. They don't like either and hang up.
The problem lies with other companies. They are all shits. Despite there being data protection laws against gathering and using data for purposes other than what it is needed for, most places ask for a mobile number in case they need to contact you. Once you do that you know your number is going to get sold all round the world along with everyone else's.

Yes that's a fair point Hugo, I can see where you are coming from.
Fuckem annoying twannies!

Sorry Hugo, I couldn't give a toss. These people are trying to con you.

I work for a company that has outsourced a lot of jobs to India, whilst I deal mainly with the more educated and secure ones, it is interesting that so many junior ones will not waiver from the script for fear of making a mistake and being sacked.

Totally ruthless even for an otherwise responsible company. In one instance the same person asked four different people on my team the same question just to be sure.

Had the microsoft one ring everyday for a week ,got pished off with it so i answered said hold on said to wend hey boss can i deal with this there some issue with our computers,
he carried on then said who is this company you work for.
i replied you are the ones who prey on idiots i work for the nsa and you have come through to our field office in the uk.
line went dead and havent been bothered since.

the other that doesnt call no more is the one saying you've had an accident, just reply not since the johnny broke in yer mum 9 moths before you were born, they haven't rang since.

I find the more offensive you are the less they phone

Jw's and mormons don't knock anymore now not sure why, simply say come back in an hours as im beating my goat the unfaithful bastard let the dog shag her, and then say if i come to you fantasy night do i get a free blowjob, they dont come back, or if they do knock again tell em to f off in 10 seconds or you will beat them so good they will be forced to get a blood transfution

Now thats a good saying, there are many others to use
tell em your a catholic they seem to go quite quickly, if you want a chat ask em why you would join em as not all of em will end up in heaven ,whereas the christian church everyone gets to go to heaven for much less financial outlay, that confuses a lot of em.

like any cold caller to your door they are easy prey for a bit of fun, best are the ones who say your comments upset me, the only reply to that is well you upset me by knocking the door just as i was going to shake the lizard.

some of my standard replies to collectors are

rspca, i simply say nope sorry cant donate to such a no choice organisation, they look puzzled, follow it up with personally i think beagle should be allowed to smoke. they dont come back.
energy suppliers simply tell em to feck orf, then when their company ring to ask about changing supplier simple say nope i was thinking about changing to you company till i was interrupted by some total asshat who knocked the door.

Anything that comes through the door with a return envelope, simply scribble over the paperwork and post it back, that way the tossers not only have to open the post ,they have paid for rubbish to be sent through the post.

idiots on the phone pretending to be from you bank or other institution, they try to get your password and start by asking a security question keep giving them words until they get realise what they have typed on screen,then simply ask if they f**k on first dates and does their dad own a brewery, they get sh**ty and say no, simply reply ah you failed the security question and hang up..


If the calls worry you and you've joined the tps but still get calls, have a look on the bt website as there is another thing they have started (cant for the life of me remember what it's called) whereby you report these types of call and bt look at revoking their numbers.

just remember if you have a bit of fun with en (this goes for the old bill as well) , give em stick so they get arsey with you as when you shut the door or hang up the phone you will be feeling fine, they however have to spend the rest of the day in a mood

Bloody hell, haven't heard that in years.