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Post by RD on Feb 1, 2024 13:30:39 GMT
Many of us know how depressing it is not to be ITK at this time of year. As such, Westfield has kindly shared his "transfer story roulette" algorithm with me, and I've dropped it below in case any of you want to be #ITK also.
"We are signing...."
Month of Birth:
Jan - Jul: 1
Aug - Oct: 2
Nov - Dec: 3
"... player(s) ... "
Day of birth:
1 - 2: " for a club record fee "
3 - 6: " for an undisclosed fee "
7 - 15: "on a free transfer "
16 - 31: "on loan"
"... and they play..."
Year of birth:
<= 1950: "in goal"
1951 - 1969: "in defence"
1970 - 1989: "in midfield"
>= 1990: "upfront"
Shoe size:
<= 6: "but they're currently injured"
7 - 8: "but we missed the deadline, so it's fallen through"
9: "but never heard of them, they look sh*te."
10: "but Exeter fans don't rate them"
11+: "proper buzzing; how has this happened?"
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Post by RD on Feb 1, 2024 13:32:36 GMT
We are signing 3 players on loan and they play in midfield but Exeter fans don't rate them #ITK
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Post by Rod1883 on Feb 1, 2024 13:36:51 GMT
One player, a defender, on a free, I've never heard of them and they look rather poor to me.
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Post by Claremont Gas on Feb 1, 2024 13:41:01 GMT
Two Strikers - one permanent from L1 and One on Loan from Championship (may have to settle for loan only though)
CB on loan from Championship
LB - On loan with a view to a permanent.
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Post by curlywurly on Feb 1, 2024 13:45:24 GMT
We are signing 1 player for a club record fee and they play in defence but never heard of them, they look sh*te.
Made I larf
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Post by richie on Feb 1, 2024 13:53:40 GMT
looking to sign one player on a free, a midfielder but its fallen through now.
Actually feels realistic
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Post by olskooltoteender on Feb 1, 2024 13:54:28 GMT
We are signing 1 player for a club record fee and they play in defence but never heard of them, they look sh*te. Made I larf That made I laff an’ all . . . |
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Post by barumgas on Feb 1, 2024 13:54:30 GMT
1 player from Exeter and 2 from Rotherham.
All strikers as we are heading for the playoffs.
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Post by gasandelectricity on Feb 1, 2024 13:56:41 GMT
We are signing 1 player on a free transfer and they play in attacking midfield (close to the end of the band) but never heard of them, they look sh*te.
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Post by bidefordgas on Feb 1, 2024 13:59:38 GMT
Elkan Baggot centrehalf from Ipswich anybody?
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Post by Gassy on Feb 1, 2024 14:07:14 GMT
We are signing 1 player on a free transfer and they play in attacking midfield (close to the end of the band) but never heard of them, they look sh*te. Thats a Barton type signing IMO. |
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Post by Gastafari on Feb 1, 2024 15:42:24 GMT
I've been told by a very reliable source that we're very close to completing a deal for a Central Midfielder for an undisclosed fee and we should all be excited as looks a superb signing!
Flashbacks of Zain Westbrooke!
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Post by DrFaustus on Feb 1, 2024 16:21:03 GMT
We are about to sign up Fats de Fibrillator, a French/Alabaman "chef" to improve the "food" on sale at The Mem.
Apparently, the current offerings only average twice the daily recommended intake of salt, saturated fat and artificial colourings and the owners feel we should be doing better.
UTFG (as long as we've not eaten any of the aforementioned fodder, as it may be time for an artery declog)
🏴☠️
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