the last year or so, depression ,loss and the forum

We have been trying to teach the bloody thing to say asshat  and stinky fish, as Ann-Marie tried but the bloody thing never got it ,although when he turns his back to you he says night night, bloody things turnt into me muh

I types a massive reply and my stupid uncontrollable fingers destroyed it grr, so i'll type up a smaller one.

Believe me strength doesn't come into it(well it might just a little) , difficult post this one to answer Ann-Marie Irene had various medical conditions, muscular dystrophy, she had a pigeon chest, her back worked in reverse to ours in that she couldn't bend forwards much but could bend backwards till her hair touched the floor,  and she had epilepsy, and mental issues as well(sorry but i hate these modern words like special needs etc). I only had the privileged of knowing her for 5 years. But in those 5 years she had gone from Wendy's kid to daughter, thing is we were so close anyone who didn't know her swore we were blood related, we never became close because of her illnesses as i never thought of her as anything other than normal, never wrapped her in cotton wool , never shied away, there came a time when we had to bath her as she had a fit in the bath and din't tell us, it came out by accident, such was her independence.

We knew her time would be short but didn't know how short( we had arranged that if anything happened to Wendy, she would live with me ,if anything happened to me she would live with my friend and his wife). it dint pan out like that
nothing can prepare you for it. you think you are prepared but it hits you so so hard. I've explained where i was mentally so if it does happen get straight to the vets for yours and your wife's sake.  You also have to bear in mind i was f**k ed mentally before,  You ask about strength you already have it my friend,  We had help from you guys, but the one thing that was at the top of my mind was the fact that no matter how i or anyone else felt ,  I could never begin to imagine how Wendy felt, tbh it's something i never want to know, but through all the hell you will find the strength to help your wife etc, don't ever push her away, don't ever not be truthful about how you feel , i maybe unbelievably lucky in that me and Wendy have had tough lives so are open and honest.

Even when your backs are against the wall whilst caring fer yer lad emotionally and your jangling on each others nerves, don't blame each other or argue, if the mrs is narky and wants space walk away for an hour or so,  The thing that got to me when caring for he was people saying i don't know how you cope with a disabled child, my normal response was Fu ck off as tbh we dont cope we just do ,sorry for the long post fella ,just keep going, if you need to eff n blind or call someone a lady garden you can have my number and call anytime

This pc is getting on me nips now grrr keeps losing replies
Agree never been well of even when working lived hand to mouth, mortgage etc, just a normal life really, then the brain decided to play up long story short lost everything, strangely enough though the thing most of us are frightened of losing , didn't really mater, im trying to say it doesn't matter who or what you are there are things more important than possessions but we as humans don't realise that it doesn't matter till its taken away.

The other side of the coin is although i only had 5 years with Ann-Marie Irene and everyday hurts like f**k i was so lucky to have had the opportunity to be her dad. Tbh i really am grateful to have met Wendy known Ann-Marie Irene and had the help of the forum and the club

forgot to add that even in my darkest hours the vet and trick cyclists said that no way in hell would that make me a ted, and that even in the depths of depression it's not and excuse   

Brilliant set of posts. We all have dark days, and we all need help. My wife suffered severed post natal depression and had to give up working as a nurse, our son has autism and goes to a/special school, because he's a special kid! We have very little cash left if any at the end if the month and I work in a decent job, but very stressful. People in wirkwonder his I carry on, and I tel! Them I have no choice. Guess I'm blessed that stress washes over me, but knoiw that one day it won't. That day came recently when the boy, ten tears old tried to throw himself out if the bedroom window. Head in hands I wondered how I get through this, he was sedated and in hospital, but we've slowly come through it. God willing we will still. Can only agree, if you think you need help, get it before it gets you. Good luck out there.

Can i just say a massive thanks to everyone who has replied on this thread, im especially glad some have chosen to share their experiences with their mental health, shows how common and hidden it is, to anyone suffering depression, or are caring for someone who is disabled in any way, feel free to pm me and eff n blind all you like in pm or by phone , remember our gas family are there for everyone.

As someone whose family life has been gripped and dogged by mental health issues I can only hope that the world reads this thread - it would make a lot of difference to a lot of people for a lot of reasons.

bags you can call it what you want, yes it is an illness, the main thing with peoples understanding is because for most sufferers it's an invisable illness to others it isn't real. hope you can understand what i mean, I take comfort because people are sharing and if that helps just one person either a sufferer or it someone understand then im happy, thanks all for sharing.
If you feel down or are low for any other reason remember you dont have to suffer alone, most vets(docs) now understand and offer different forms of hel

My wife has been suffering for many years now, thankfully she is getting better and is now off the pills but still has the odd panic attack. It is irrational by its nature and can be difficult to understand.

The biggest problem I feel is that I was the only one she would talk too and confide in. She wouldn't and still won't tell the rest of her family or other friends and her GP is the only other one aware. I am sure it would have helped her recover sooner.

If you or someone you know has 'issues', please talk it through with someone, I found taxi drivers can be very helpful and non judgemental and a really close friend helped me keep it together.