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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2015 13:47:06 GMT
Thanks to everybody who has shared or commented on this thread - it really is a big help to me.
My family find it difficult to discuss my MH problems with me, although they do try to be supportive, there is a sense of them not know what they should say, so they change the subject. Luckily my best friend is brilliant, and I've had great support and encouragement from people who I haven't even met. I try and be open about my illness, as I feel that, the more people who deal with it as they would any other long term illness, the more "acceptable" it will become within society.
The whole Wembley weekend was about me creating good memories with my son, he's been great during the last 3 years, and I wanted him to have something happy to associate with me. I think my alcohol fueled rendition of the Will Puddy song, complete with dance moves might have nailed it!
It's a real down time at the moment. On Tuesday I spent an hour being reviewed by a Psychiatrist, Psychologist and MH nurse, which resulted in an increase in meds. Today the Psychiatrist phoned to say they had discussed me in their meeting this morning, and have referred me to the crisis intervention team. They can't seem to understand that this just puts more pressure on me, as I hate having to deal with people.
It's a great release to join in the forum discussions - it's one of the rare times when I sort of revert to being how I was before all this happened. Not sure that I'll ever be able to transfer that into my day to day life though.
Sorry, I'm probably ranting now! Thanks again to everybody. I hope that those of you who have experienced, or are experiencing MH problems will have success in climbing out of the abyss. For those who are trying to understand the illness - you have my respect and appreciation.
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Post by Jon the Stripe on May 28, 2015 15:40:04 GMT
Thanks to everybody who has shared or commented on this thread - it really is a big help to me. My family find it difficult to discuss my MH problems with me, although they do try to be supportive, there is a sense of them not know what they should say, so they change the subject. Luckily my best friend is brilliant, and I've had great support and encouragement from people who I haven't even met. I try and be open about my illness, as I feel that, the more people who deal with it as they would any other long term illness, the more "acceptable" it will become within society. The whole Wembley weekend was about me creating good memories with my son, he's been great during the last 3 years, and I wanted him to have something happy to associate with me. I think my alcohol fueled rendition of the Will Puddy song, complete with dance moves might have nailed it! It's a real down time at the moment. On Tuesday I spent an hour being reviewed by a Psychiatrist, Psychologist and MH nurse, which resulted in an increase in meds. Today the Psychiatrist phoned to say they had discussed me in their meeting this morning, and have referred me to the crisis intervention team. They can't seem to understand that this just puts more pressure on me, as I hate having to deal with people. It's a great release to join in the forum discussions - it's one of the rare times when I sort of revert to being how I was before all this happened. Not sure that I'll ever be able to transfer that into my day to day life though. Sorry, I'm probably ranting now! Thanks again to everybody. I hope that those of you who have experienced, or are experiencing MH problems will have success in climbing out of the abyss. For those who are trying to understand the illness - you have my respect and appreciation. .
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Post by aghast on May 28, 2015 16:59:46 GMT
I don't think many people realise how widespread mental health issues are. My wife works at a local hospital making appointments with psychotherapists and counsellors for people with depression, stress, anxiety and other problems.
Since the service has been launched the uptake has been massive and most people really feel the sessions have helped. The numbers of people seeking help and advice are far greater than I would ever have imagined. Depression is not a rare or odd condition. It's common, increasingly so, and no-one should feel they have to endure it alone when good professional help is available, whether medical or psychological.
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Post by beaver132 on May 28, 2015 19:13:30 GMT
This thread should be put out there on the general populous. We are a relatively small cvlub with a relatively small fanbase and only a percentage oif those use gaschat, and yet the number of individuals sharing their experience on here in an indication of how common this problem is. Well done everyone for being brave and unselfish, sharing such personal angst. If one more person now feels able to admit to needing help because of this thread, we may all have done our bit to save that person, their friends and their family.
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Post by pirateman on May 28, 2015 19:27:05 GMT
Meant to post earlier I too have had problems with anxiety and depression and received treatment. It lost me one job and caused me to quit another. I am not on any treatment now and seem to be stable but I am under no illusions that I could take a few steps back at any time. I now work with people with long term illnesses including mental health issues and too be honest I think this helps me as much as it helps them.
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Post by inee on May 28, 2015 23:07:28 GMT
Thanks to everybody who has shared or commented on this thread - it really is a big help to me. My family find it difficult to discuss my MH problems with me, although they do try to be supportive, there is a sense of them not know what they should say, so they change the subject. Luckily my best friend is brilliant, and I've had great support and encouragement from people who I haven't even met. I try and be open about my illness, as I feel that, the more people who deal with it as they would any other long term illness, the more "acceptable" it will become within society. The whole Wembley weekend was about me creating good memories with my son, he's been great during the last 3 years, and I wanted him to have something happy to associate with me. I think my alcohol fueled rendition of the Will Puddy song, complete with dance moves might have nailed it! It's a real down time at the moment. On Tuesday I spent an hour being reviewed by a Psychiatrist, Psychologist and MH nurse, which resulted in an increase in meds. Today the Psychiatrist phoned to say they had discussed me in their meeting this morning, and have referred me to the crisis intervention team. They can't seem to understand that this just puts more pressure on me, as I hate having to deal with people. It's a great release to join in the forum discussions - it's one of the rare times when I sort of revert to being how I was before all this happened. Not sure that I'll ever be able to transfer that into my day to day life though. Sorry, I'm probably ranting now! Thanks again to everybody. I hope that those of you who have experienced, or are experiencing MH problems will have success in climbing out of the abyss. For those who are trying to understand the illness - you have my respect and appreciation. Tilly i know exactly what you mean, i've been on the highest dose on meds available for the tablets i take for 3 or 4 years now, these help but in an odd way as they allow me to maybe have an up when i get out of bed, i can't do trick cyclists, counselling or any other type of thing they invent, they just do not work for me, however i will tell anyone to try it as we all respond to different things , i also find it almost impossible to deal with people as after a few mins i can switch off and just wan't to lash out , which results in me either getting aggressive or bashing my head against a wall ,(i would not recommend at any time to headbutt the stand iron work at the mem but if fookin hurts) . I've noticed that you have got out a bit more this year i remember an old post of yours where you wanted to go to a game but just could not go outside, but later on in the year you got to a dew games , thats some bloody doing and a huge step forward , such a strong thing to do (im not being patronising just genuinely glad you managed it as its a huge huge step) . And you are so right about the forum , almost impossible to explain but for me it makes me feel human for a little while. One of my biggest gripes is about how family and friends treat people with MH issues , your second line says it all, i'm lucky as people who know me know not to pussy foot around me after all even though im not the same as i was im still alive and still in the room. At least the younger ones are more clued up about stuff than older people, as it was never talked about , i have vivid memories of when i was a kid , parents friends teacher would say smile you mopey sod, the doctors would just say your a man pull your bloody socks up stop being a big girls blouse, hell it wasn't really that long ago that single mums were locked up in the local mental hospital, or kids that were cheeky etc. All i do know is if you cant talk to family or friends, the first step is to talk to someone anyone , meeting wendy let me talk about something that i've never spoke about before and has been eating away at me for 40 years , it just came out as at that point in time i just felt safe, i find it easier to talk to a total stranger than a health care person. One of the best pm's i ever had was a simple heartfelt pm with the number of the samaritans , Remember they wont judge , but will listen and believe me just to be able to blurt everything out even if its just the once really lifts that monkey off your back
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Post by inee on May 28, 2015 23:09:04 GMT
Meant to post earlier I too have had problems with anxiety and depression and received treatment. It lost me one job and caused me to quit another. I am not on any treatment now and seem to be stable but I am under no illusions that I could take a few steps back at any time. I now work with people with long term illnesses including mental health issues and too be honest I think this helps me as much as it helps them. Pirateman and others with similar stories your posts help as even when im at my lowest ebb, it shows that there is a way back , thank you so much for adding hope to this thread
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Post by inee on May 28, 2015 23:10:56 GMT
I don't think many people realise how widespread mental health issues are. My wife works at a local hospital making appointments with psychotherapists and counsellors for people with depression, stress, anxiety and other problems. Since the service has been launched the uptake has been massive and most people really feel the sessions have helped. The numbers of people seeking help and advice are far greater than I would ever have imagined. Depression is not a rare or odd condition. It's common, increasingly so, and no-one should feel they have to endure it alone when good professional help is available, whether medical or psychological. thanks aghast , it's always been that way , it's just been historically hidden by sufferers , goes to show how the message is slowly getting out there
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Post by inee on May 28, 2015 23:16:07 GMT
This thread should be put out there on the general populous. We are a relatively small cvlub with a relatively small fanbase and only a percentage oif those use gaschat, and yet the number of individuals sharing their experience on here in an indication of how common this problem is. Well done everyone for being brave and unselfish, sharing such personal angst. If one more person now feels able to admit to needing help because of this thread, we may all have done our bit to save that person, their friends and their family. Agree but it's always a balancing act trying to raise awareness, as if the message is spread via tv for instance after the second say advert people are already pished off with it, if a leaflet is posted through a door not many people would not read it . it's a difficult one, but slowly but surely the message is getting through.
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2015 10:54:23 GMT
I used to be a mental health nurse.
This thread is fantastic. Well done to everyone who has contributed to the discussion.
Matter of fact, honest discussion about mental health issues are sadly missing in our society.
It affects so many, yet it is still not really ok to talk about it! Odd isn't it.
You are not alone after all!
Now pull yourselves together ffs!
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Post by inee on May 29, 2015 13:22:27 GMT
Thats it hugo just because im deaf in my left nostril, blind in my right ear and smell through my eyes ,no need to take the pish,
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Post by baggins on May 30, 2015 10:19:27 GMT
Thats it hugo just because im deaf in my left nostril, blind in my right ear and smell through my eyes ,no need to take the pish, And to top that lot off, you've got a lisp.
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Post by 2nd May 1990 on May 31, 2015 22:02:22 GMT
Thanks to everybody who has shared or commented on this thread - it really is a big help to me. My family find it difficult to discuss my MH problems with me, although they do try to be supportive, there is a sense of them not know what they should say, so they change the subject. Luckily my best friend is brilliant, and I've had great support and encouragement from people who I haven't even met. I try and be open about my illness, as I feel that, the more people who deal with it as they would any other long term illness, the more "acceptable" it will become within society. The whole Wembley weekend was about me creating good memories with my son, he's been great during the last 3 years, and I wanted him to have something happy to associate with me. I think my alcohol fueled rendition of the Will Puddy song, complete with dance moves might have nailed it! It's a real down time at the moment. On Tuesday I spent an hour being reviewed by a Psychiatrist, Psychologist and MH nurse, which resulted in an increase in meds. Today the Psychiatrist phoned to say they had discussed me in their meeting this morning, and have referred me to the crisis intervention team. They can't seem to understand that this just puts more pressure on me, as I hate having to deal with people. It's a great release to join in the forum discussions - it's one of the rare times when I sort of revert to being how I was before all this happened. Not sure that I'll ever be able to transfer that into my day to day life though. Sorry, I'm probably ranting now! Thanks again to everybody. I hope that those of you who have experienced, or are experiencing MH problems will have success in climbing out of the abyss. For those who are trying to understand the illness - you have my respect and appreciation. Tilly i know exactly what you mean, i've been on the highest dose on meds available for the tablets i take for 3 or 4 years now, these help but in an odd way as they allow me to maybe have an up when i get out of bed, i can't do trick cyclists, counselling or any other type of thing they invent, they just do not work for me, however i will tell anyone to try it as we all respond to different things , i also find it almost impossible to deal with people as after a few mins i can switch off and just wan't to lash out , which results in me either getting aggressive or bashing my head against a wall ,(i would not recommend at any time to headbutt the stand iron work at the mem but if fookin hurts) . I've noticed that you have got out a bit more this year i remember an old post of yours where you wanted to go to a game but just could not go outside, but later on in the year you got to a dew games , thats some bloody doing and a huge step forward , such a strong thing to do (im not being patronising just genuinely glad you managed it as its a huge huge step) . And you are so right about the forum , almost impossible to explain but for me it makes me feel human for a little while. One of my biggest gripes is about how family and friends treat people with MH issues , your second line says it all, i'm lucky as people who know me know not to pussy foot around me after all even though im not the same as i was im still alive and still in the room. At least the younger ones are more clued up about stuff than older people, as it was never talked about , i have vivid memories of when i was a kid , parents friends teacher would say smile you mopey sod, the doctors would just say your a man pull your bloody socks up stop being a big girls blouse, hell it wasn't really that long ago that single mums were locked up in the local mental hospital, or kids that were cheeky etc. All i do know is if you cant talk to family or friends, the first step is to talk to someone anyone , meeting wendy let me talk about something that i've never spoke about before and has been eating away at me for 40 years , it just came out as at that point in time i just felt safe, i find it easier to talk to a total stranger than a health care person. One of the best pm's i ever had was a simple heartfelt pm with the number of the samaritans , Remember they wont judge , but will listen and believe me just to be able to blurt everything out even if its just the once really lifts that monkey off your back Fantastic post, Inee. I agree 100% about people supposedly close to you not understanding or being able to deal with the mental health issues. It is very frustrating. It's an illness. If a close family member had a physical illness I would read up about it, look for possible treatments etc, but with my mental health issues nobody ever thought to do this for me. It is still massively stigmatised. Having said that, the flip side of the coin is that I initially misinterpreted my partner's reaction to my illness. She came across so hard and brutal about it but I've realised that she has always absolutely 100% had my best interests at heart. If I hit a big low I always want to be comforted and told it's going to be OK, etc, in other words dealt with as sensitively as possible, but I've realised over time that this isn't necessarily what I need or what makes me get better. It's a real headfcuk of an illness but accumulated experience of dealing with it does help. I've come to the conclusion that it's likely to always be there, it's just how I manage it that is important.
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Post by stuart1974 on Jun 3, 2015 19:38:12 GMT
Tonight's DIYSOS is a bit close to home. Luckily we have adapoted our house. if you wanted to know where some of your council tax goes then thank you.
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Post by inee on Jun 3, 2015 21:45:45 GMT
Was very difficult watching that earlier, really felt everything the parents said, and knew exactly what the mum said when thanking her sons. It couldn't have explained more clearly how we deal with ill kids especially when nick asked how do you cope, she replied we just do, also when she said all i want is for him to be here in the morning.
A lot of people will find it difficult to wrap their heads around that, but to those i say if your in that situation it is all you think about and every morning the kids wake up is a major blessing in itself, the bit about the kid stopped breathing, again it's something that carers just do without thinking about it, im not trying to big it up as the first time it happens i don't care how well trained you are it's your kid and you do panic, and have to deal with the self doubt and loathing of yourself , but the next time it happens you go into auto pilot , but one thing no matter how well you prepare is the one time you can't get them breathing, the weird thing is it's so surreal, you know whats happened but you continue to do cpr ,you get other family members to try ,you try again yourself, and in the end have to be physically removed, you know whats happened and demand the ambulance crew try, in those few minutes, you feel guilty .useless, a fraud, you feel that you have let your other half down, you feel weak, and either lash out on others or yourself, in my case i took a weeks anti depressants, set about my self with a cut throat razor, smashed loads of stuff up, punched myself in the face so hard i was seeing stars, even went for the coppers who were in the house, luckily for me wendy said to the copper, dont cuff him just leave him alone he wont attack anyone unless they get in his face and he will calm down. The copper listened to wendy but there were shitloads of em after that. these are all natural reactions i think, some explode some go into themselves, but one thing i will say is never ever blame anyone else, that will be a weird thing to think about but a lot of people will blame their partners, once said cant be undone, we were lucky as we didn't blame each other but blamed ourselves, the long and short of it is it has made us stronger not only individuals but as husband and wife. But and i have to say this we are not together due to what happened , We are together because we love each other(yeah i know soppy gert puff). another thing is you may find this harsh but if god forbid you end up in this situation and it goes wrong never ever stay with someone out of a sense of guilt or duty, as in the long run you will just end up resenting everyone.
Another very important part of the show was something the dad said, it's our responsibility and it's difficult to ask for help, That is so true but it screws you up as a person it hurt me as a working man when we allowed the occupational health and social services to fit a toilet seat and fold up rail for Ann-Marie Irene, the shame and embarrassment that coursed through my mind for weeks was untrue it's as if on the one hand you aren't good enough to look after your child, you are so useless that you allow someone to help, you feel you let your other half and the kid down, finally you feel like the biggest pile of sh**e in the world, your other half feels the same, however there is no shame in getting professional help as when you do after a few weeks when something as simple as a bath lift or railing makes so much difference to everyone's lives ,you suddenly wish you did it a long while ago, the dad also said im doing it myself but it's going slowly, one thing i haven't said before is i was layed of my redundancy payout was very tidy, i spent most of it on the garden, decking, level concrete areas, wide gates and paths , for when Ann-Marie Irene would end up in a chair, unfortunately or luckily it was never used as intended, in hindsight would i do it again well yes without question as for me it's a constant reminder of something i was able to do, if you can do something now as an improvement do it now as if you wait till the last minute all you will do is hate yourself even more
sorry it's a longish reply, but after watching that and reliving every second of it as it happened as regards to the kid etc, all i can say is we were so so lucky to be able to converse with Ann-Marie Irene and never got to the wheelchair stage ,if she was here today then that stage would be now, Just remember if you are in this situation then you can get through , I won't sugar coat it but give you 100% the truth, it'Dam hard , it's a struggle to get through each day, the slightest thing make you blubber, your tolerance level of others will get smaller, you will talk to them a lot,on the up side you will remember how Dam lucky you were to have met yer kid.
the only thing i didn't mention today was epilepsy, if anyone's interested i can do a post about how that affects people and families,
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Post by pirateman on Jun 3, 2015 22:03:04 GMT
Coincidence. Just been talking to a lady about the problems she was having with her epileptic son's school. Ridiculous and he was really badly treated.
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Post by inee on Jun 3, 2015 22:23:22 GMT
Coincidence. Just been talking to a lady about the problems she was having with her epileptic son's school. Ridiculous and he was really badly treated. Problem is it's society in general, what i mean is schools dont think ok we have a kid here that has a few health issues that are easily dealt with, they think what if they get hurt and we get sued, and invariably use the excuse of how it affects others, i find that when people are exposed to thing like epilepsy , it benefits them greatly as it just shows that the sufferer is the same as them but sometimes has a slight blip, i do get on my high horse abut it as there are differing foms of eppilepsy but most people only seem to think of the stereotype. Also if you are a parent or carer of an epileptic, then there are devices you can get which help you to respond to the sufferer quicker at night, if anyone wants to know just ask here or pm. most people will probably be aware of em. One last thing that a lot of people are unaware of is to help with everyday stuff for disabled people like matress covers,wheelchairs, etc. If you buy something that is needed by a disabled person then you can claim the VAT back, it might not mean a lot to some but for others it's really is the difference between having something as simple as a wetsheet or not having it.
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Post by althepirate on Jun 3, 2015 23:34:15 GMT
I am a support worker and I visit people with varying health issues including MH. I would like to ask Inee and others who have shared, a question. 'Do you think that a lack of understanding and empathy from those around you, especially those close to you as well as society in general substantially increases your problems?'
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Post by Deleted on Jun 4, 2015 12:49:00 GMT
I am a support worker and I visit people with varying health issues including MH. I would like to ask Inee and others who have shared, a question. ' Do you think that a lack of understanding and empathy from those around you, especially those close to you as well as society in general substantially increases your problems?' OK, I'll give this a go, as best I can. In the workplace I didn't feel able to discuss my "illness", as it would have been seen as a sign of weakness, particularly at a time of constant budget cuts and re-structuring - i.e. people being culled. It then got that I knew I wanted to die, and I didn't share that with anybody, as it would obviously get a negative reaction. I received a mixed reaction when discharged from hospital. My sister was brilliant, and I was allowed to go and live with her rather than be admitted to the mental health unit. My eldest brother told me that my sister "could really do without all this", as she was struggling herself due to the death of her grandaughter 12 months previously. As though somebody who seriously wants to commit suicide will postpone it because the timing isn't right for their family - your mind just doesn't work that way when you are desperate! Brother number 2's partner did not speak to me for a while, as she thinks that suicide is a very selfish act. To be honest, at that point, I didn't really give a flying one regarding what people thought of me, I still wanted to be dead, however, my eldest brother's comment has always stuck in my mind. It was interesting to note the difference in reaction when brother number 2 was diagnosed with prostate cancer last year - so many people still think that depression is a lifestyle choice, whereas cancer is a genuine illness. The truth is that both can claim lives. My son and my best friend have been brilliant throughout, and other friends have been very understanding and supportive, but it doesn't cancel out the negative stuff from others. Further down the line, I mainly feel ashamed of having a mental health problem. Probably due to previous reactions, I'm not comfortable with sharing my feelings with my family, I find that it's actually easier to share with somebody who you don't know very well, but has had experience of what you're going through. I guess that does increase my problems, because things stay bottled up, and I tend to over-think situations. With regard to society in general, the main problems I've had have been when dealing with large organisations, who don't seem to make adjustments for mental health in the same way as they do for other disabilities. I have a real anxiety about using the phone, so it has been nightmare when I've not wanted to renew house and car insurance, as they only supply a telephone number for contacting the renewals departments. I have resorted to e-mailing their complaints departments, who then pass the cancellation request on to the correct dept. Of course I know that in all instances they want to speak to their customers, so that they can retain them by offering a lower rate for insurance, but they need to recognise that this is a bridge too far for some people to cope with, and provide alternative methods of contact. These scenarios are things which I used to deal with without a 2nd thought, so it really does not help my self-esteem that I am no longer able to do so, because the necessary avenues are not readily available. It really brings it home to me that I'm no longer "normal". Two of my worst experiences were with BUPA Dr's as part of my employer's OH scheme. I was still having suicidal thoughts, and one of them actually advised me that he didn't recommend hanging as a method, I won't go into details as it could be a trigger. The Mental Health team were appalled, and I was assessed for sectioning not long after, so his attitude certainly did increase my problems. I don't go out and about a great deal, so haven't really experienced any negative reactions on a personal level. The support from the Mental Health team has been invaluable, so keep on doing your thing althepirateSorry, I've probably been way too long winded with this - the simple answer is "Yes"!
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Post by inee on Jun 4, 2015 13:13:01 GMT
Bloody hell al difficult question, the answer is yes and no, in truth if i answered the question as asked my answers would be different ans understanding and empathy when used together is almost the same although in reality are different, so will answer using them as two seperate questions(not being clever but i thought long and hard about it and found there are 2 sets of answers ) ,and will try and answer as a mh sufferer as a parent and as both, so at some time the answer may seem contradictory but it isnt on MH i can only answer for myself, the main thing to realise is although sometime we may act in unacceptable ways, or may look as miserable as sin, we are alive and in the room, dependant on the mood some silly things can make you withdraw, if someone says leave me alone then do it, but keep an eye, for me i dont like people pussy footing around, im intelligent enough to realise whats wrong, but im not thick im not stupid i just cant get rid of the feelings. as a support worker you need to be aware that sometimes offering councilling etc may not be the correct move at all sorry going too have to come back to this llater fella
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