BRISTOL ROVERS BLOG: G is for Gas - The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the windPosted: May 29, 2015
By Martin Bull
Monday’s open top bus tour of north and east Bristol to celebrate Rovers' return to the Football League at the first time of asking was a handsome spectacle, with hoardes of Gasheads lining the streets from Warmley to Lawrence Hill, followed by a sprint to Horfield to end up at the Memorial Stadium.
There were several personal highlights for me, including watching the bus get stuck whilst trying to get through the narrow road into the Mem, at which point the trapped players engaged in banter with us Gasheads and started off their own rendition of the fans' song, “Everywhere we go, we’re making all the noise“. And five minutes later, whilst keeping ahead of the bus, I quite literally bumped into the Mayor and had an amiable chat before the bus disappeared into the forbidden zone. As a non-Bristolian the only reason I recognised George Ferguson up-close was through a logical deduction that anyone wearing bright blue trousers must be the kind of person who is trying, slightly too hard, to cover up his usual daily attire of bright red ones.
Later, whilst taking photos on the pitch, I almost did a double take when being visually assaulted by someone scarily wrapped head to toe in ballooning white plastic sheeting and with ‘Full of Gas’ written in large letters on his chest. Imagine if you can the Michelin Man and the Pillsbury Doughboy having an eccentric love child and you are getting somewhere in the vicinity of the spectacle.
These quirky moments demonstrated what a great event it was, full of families, flags, and ice creams melting down sticky toddler hands, and certainly a fittingly upbeat finale to what seemed like an exceedingly long and fraught season; as if most seasons following Rovers aren’t!
It was therefore a complete surprise to later hear that the Daily Mirror had taken their eye off their own phone hacking problems and taken the trouble to pretend that a photo showing the players racing along an empty street on the way to the starting point of the tour at the old Warmley train station was showing maybe the “worst open top bus parade in history”.
The Metro followed suit with the inflammatory tweet that “Bristol Rovers had an open-top bus parade but their fans couldn't really be bothered" and most disappointingly the website of ‘The Independent’ followed along like a timid sheep, regurgitating the tired clichés that may be expected of a rotten red top and adding that "Bristol Rovers had an average attendance of around 7,000 this season. ALl [sic] the glory hunters were at Wembley."
Fractious Gasheads quickly pointed out that aerial photos from the build-up to Chelsea’s parade in West London were near identical to ours, yet the Mirror decided to applaud a photo of Chelsea youth players boarding their empty bus, and even interrupted their sycophantic live blog of that parade to take the mickey out of our celebrations, via THAT photo of our bus.
We now interrupt that live blog to bring you an old folk tale from a rural Somerset village. Once upon a time a farmer fell out with his best friend and began spreading ugly rumours about him. Later, when he became ill and needed help to keep his farm running, he called upon the ex-friend and begged him for help with the daily milking. He came gladly, and was asked to forgive his ex-friend’s slander. "I will happily help you and forgive you" the farmer said, "but there's something you must do. As soon as you get well, pluck the feathers from one of your chickens and scatter them in the marketplace and from the tower of the church; scatter them well throughout the entire village."
Later that month the farmer did just so, but, still puzzled, asked his neighbour if there was anything else he should do to repay his generosity. “Yes“, he said, “go and collect up all the feathers, making sure not one is missing.“ “But that is not possible!“ the farmer cried, "the wind has carried so many of them away". "So it is with your words," his helper responded, "while I have forgiven you, please do not forget that you can never undo the damage your untrue words have done."
The Mirror article garnered almost 9,000 shares from their website, and the Twitter stories from the three miscreants received 317 retweets, with 143 people also favouriting them. After pressure from Gasheads all three changed their stories, and apologised to varying degrees. The amended stories received 18 retweets, and 11 favourites.
Whilst this may not exactly be the most important issue on earth it is an interesting exploration into the mindset of some journalists, quick to get their facts wrong, to repeat stories without checking the evidence, and most significantly to look down upon lower league and grass-roots football. But as these London-centric journalists pander to the lowest common denominator and follow with indecent haste the mantra that bigger is always best, they forget that small truly is beautiful.
Are they just following the arrogance of some fans of higher league football, or are they helping create and drive that arrogance? It is hard to tell, and of course condescension is not confined only to supporters of Arsenal, Man United and the ilk. It permeates its way through all levels of football from the very top to the very bottom: Nottingham Forest fans looking down on Notts County fans; supporters of Football League teams looking down on non-league; or, a richer club looking down on a local rival.
If we learned anything last season it was humility, coupled with the fact that the top level of non-league football is not wildly different from League Two; the main difference being the consistency of teams. These ‘boundaries’ are artificial, just as the differences between supporters of say, Bristol City, Bristol Rovers, and Bath City are rather synthetic, despite two divisions separating each team. We are actually quite similar, and we will all celebrate our own clubs achievements just as vociferously as Premier League fans will celebrate theirs.
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Martin Bull became a Gashead in 1989 and immediately fell in love with Twerton Park, standing near G pillar. In 2006 he wrote, photographed and published the first independent book about the artist Banksy. Having been exiled for much of his past, away games have always been special for him; so much so that with 40 other fans has published a new book about them -
www.awaythegas.org.uk
