Ebola

It's a bugger innit.

So, with the vast experience of life that exists on this forum, what tips would you give to avoid contracting Ebola?

Here are some of my ideas:-

1. Do not go to West Africa.
2. If you meet a someone in a bar who has just returned from West Africa, do not have sex with them. Run like the clappers.
3.
If you meet someone in a bar who has recently returned from West
Africa, do not 'take sips' of their cocktail when they go to the loo (as
some do...allegedly). See point2.
4. If you hear the words anywhere, "I'm from West Africa", run like the clappers !
5.
On boarding any aircraft, ask each passenger where their journey
originated. If they reply, "West Africa", run like the clappers, while
throwing your arms in the air and screaming out "run for your lives!",
or "we're all going to die" for a more dramatic effect. There could be
an added bonus that because of the kerfluffle you may get a free
upgrade!
6. Buy yourself an Ebola testing kit (4.99 in Boots). Before swapping spit with Skanky Sue in Chasers, make sure she tests negative. If she tests positive, run like the clappers, don't bother screaming as nobody will hear you above the din of "It's rainin' men", and don't stop until you get home. Then burn your clothes, have a shower and scrub yourself down with bleach and a brillo pad. Some may say that you will need to do this if she tests negative as well, but that's for another thread.

PS - If you can't run like the clappers, then walk very briskly.

Any other ideas?