Post by e4bandrobinstubbs on Nov 14, 2016 17:45:33 GMT
Need cheering up after Saturday's result, and a mucky-weather Monday ? Me too, this one always works.....
You know you're a ‘Ted when.....
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2 You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your lawn rather than mow it.
5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7.You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has "flick knife" on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a petrol cap.
18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your white van does.
19. You wonder how service stations keep their toilets so clean.
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your licence plate personalized because your father made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "ASDA" on the side.
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Bedminsterrrrrr
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighbourhood and does £100,000 worth of improvements.
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
29.You missed your school prize giving because you were in court.
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
UTG
