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Post by gregsy on Apr 5, 2020 14:44:36 GMT
The poison was in her munchie box?
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Post by Big Jock on Apr 5, 2020 14:44:47 GMT
Give us a minute, mum has made Banana Loaf an th fucckers are eatin like vultures, still warm so gotta have a bit. Greedy bastards fucckin half gone already..
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Post by Big Jock on Apr 5, 2020 14:47:47 GMT
Answer: Th killer used a knife coated with poison just on one edge.  |
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Post by Big Jock on Apr 5, 2020 14:50:32 GMT
Ok troops one for th intelligent bastards:
A famous chemist was found dead in his laboratory. Th Glesga police knew that two people were involved in th murder. An there were 5 suspects: Felice, Joshua, Nicolas, Nathan, and Peter. Police found a note written by chemist. Th note said: “26-3-58 /28-27-57-16.”
Th police immediately knew who th murderers were.
Question:
Who are th murderers an how th fucck did th police know?
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Post by Big Jock on Apr 5, 2020 14:57:04 GMT
Answer: Th victim was a famous chemist, so if you look at th note very carefully, you will notice that th numbers correspond to atomic numbers on th periodic table of elements: 26 — Fe, 3 — Li, 58 — Ce Felice 28 — Ni, 27 — Co, 57 — La, 16 — S Nicolas Felice an Nicolas are th murderers. |
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Post by Big Jock on Apr 5, 2020 15:00:37 GMT
 A bloke was found murdered on a Sunday afternoon. At th time of th muuurrrrder there were four people in th house. Th wife, th cook, th maid, and th gardener. Th police were called ta investigate th muuurrrder. Everybody told th police what they were doing. Th wife said “I was reading a book” Th cook said “I was cooking breakfast” Th maid said “I was fixing th table” Th gardener said “I was watering th plants” After listening th statements, th police arrested th murderer. Question: Who is th murderer and how did th police know? |
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Post by axegas on Apr 5, 2020 15:01:53 GMT
The cook because it was a Sunday afternoon, why would he be cooking breakfast?
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Post by gregsy on Apr 5, 2020 15:02:12 GMT
The cook.... You wouldn't cook breakfast in the afternoon?
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Post by Big Jock on Apr 5, 2020 15:04:02 GMT
The cook.... You wouldn't cook breakfast in the afternoon?  |
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Post by gregsy on Apr 5, 2020 15:05:25 GMT
Axegas got there first....
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Post by Big Jock on Apr 5, 2020 15:06:15 GMT
A man placed a £100 bill on th table and left for work. When he returned, th money was gone. He has three suspects: th cook, th maid, and th electrician.
Th cook said “I put th bill under a book ta keep it safe,” th man checked and it was not there.
Th maid said “I moved th bill inside th book between page 10 and 11 to keep it safe,” th man checked th book and there was nothing between pages 10 and 11.
Th electrician said “I saw th bill sticking out of th book and I moved it between pages 11 and 12 to keep it safe.”
The man immediately knew who stole th money.
Question:
Who is th thieving bastard?
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Post by Big Jock on Apr 5, 2020 15:08:02 GMT
The cook because it was a Sunday afternoon, why would he be cooking breakfast?  |
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Post by Big Jock on Apr 5, 2020 15:15:02 GMT
Answer:
Th elecrician stole th money.
If th man checked for th money between pages 10 and 11 of th book, then pages 11 and 12 will be opposite sides of a single sheet and th electician simply was not able to do what he said.
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Post by Big Jock on Apr 5, 2020 15:17:44 GMT
Las one troops:
Ken was found dead in his study by his friend Jim. Jim called th police and told them what happened. He said “I was walking by Ken’s house and saw light on in his room. I decided to look from outside to see if he was there. There was frost on th window, so I wiped it and that’s when I saw th body. I kicked th front door in to check things out and found that my friend was dead. I called police immediately.”
The officer knew immediately that Jim was lying.
Question:
How did th detective know?
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Post by gregsy on Apr 5, 2020 15:21:38 GMT
You only get frost on the inside of the glass?
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Post by Big Jock on Apr 5, 2020 15:24:06 GMT
You only get frost on the inside of the glass? Well done pal, jes wanna finish by sayin thanks anyone who had a little read an helped relieve some anxiety for me for a hour or so.
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Post by Officer Barbrady on Apr 5, 2020 15:24:26 GMT
Las one troops:
Ken was found dead in his study by his friend Jim. Jim called th police and told them what happened. He said “I was walking by Ken’s house and saw light on in his room. I decided to look from outside to see if he was there. There was frost on th window, so I wiped it and that’s when I saw th body. I kicked th front door in to check things out and found that my friend was dead. I called police immediately.”
The officer knew immediately that Jim was lying.
Question:
How did th detective know?
He was covered in blood with a knife in his teeth? |
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Post by inee on Apr 5, 2020 16:01:12 GMT
The cook.... You wouldn't cook breakfast in the afternoon? Bollocks answer as yer had brekkie at about 2pm |
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Post by inee on Apr 5, 2020 16:05:16 GMT
Las one troops:
Ken was found dead in his study by his friend Jim. Jim called th police and told them what happened. He said “I was walking by Ken’s house and saw light on in his room. I decided to look from outside to see if he was there. There was frost on th window, so I wiped it and that’s when I saw th body. I kicked th front door in to check things out and found that my friend was dead. I called police immediately.”
The officer knew immediately that Jim was lying.
Question:
How did th detective know?
Because there was no mention of 10k on the accounts , or have i got me threads mixed up  |
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Post by clockendgas on Apr 5, 2020 16:45:28 GMT
Answer: Th killer used a knife coated with poison just on one edge. Cheers jock, thanks for the tips,do the police read this forum? |
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