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Post by Kingswood Polak on Jul 3, 2021 12:37:09 GMT
JOEY BARTON THROWS HIS NEW SIGNINGS UNDER A BUS SENSATION Having previously confirmed Annsi Jaakkola and Sam Nicholson would walk into any L2 side, Joey Barton’s contention that he needs 9 more players consigns the 7 he’s already signed to the bench as squad players at best. In fact the Evil Post can exclusively reveal the adventure is over for one signing already, Nick Anderton uprooted himself out of his northern comfort zone only to blow it on his first outing. Barton was heard to rant “No player of mine scores an own goal ever, not even in preseason against a non league side”. Adios Nick. Coutts and Finley will be surprised to learn they are surplus to first team duties too. Barton is not buying that their absence is down to Black Death Protocols having learned they failed their Bristol Citizenship tests, however whilst JB reckons they did this deliberately to avoid chucking up their guts on the Bisham Abbey grass during bleep tests, the truth is they found the citizenship tests too hard. A close friend to both who we can only name as Clint, confided to us “When Couttsy signed for Fleetwood all he had to know was the price of a tram return to Blackpool. Scousers are exempted from the Fleetwood test because they’ve passed their own citizenship tests which, if I recall correctly from taking mine, is just one question: If there is a Beemer on a drive in West Kirby how much are you likely to clear from a speculative bit of housebreaking?” Clint continued “The three part Bristol test is so tough, I have no idea how much the average slave cost in 1750, I didn’t know the Patron Saint was Isambard Kingdom Brunel, and how was I to know that Cabot’s Circus is not an entertainment with elephants and clowns?” The remaining 4 signings Hughes, Taylor, Saunders and Collins will all be looking over their shoulders to see who the gaffer is bringing in as challengers for their place although they do still have an advantage over the other squad members who are still shell shocked having been part of the previous atrocious campaign. *The above is fictional as was 90% of the Post’s drivel till Sam Frost came on the scene ** The Post would also like to point out that stereotyping is not funny and not clever and would like to apologise to any housebreakers who are not Scouse. Very good mate. Well done
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Post by Kingswood Polak on Jul 3, 2021 12:40:25 GMT
Aagh, what garish grandad top is Joey wearing in the interview? Who approved Macron to make that? I quite like it. I’m only early thirties. And i don’t mean the 1930s. Reminds me of the 1970’s type patterns. I know, I’m old
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Post by chewbacca on Jul 3, 2021 12:40:35 GMT
It was hilariously bad. Really fun evening.
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Post by chubbgas on Jul 3, 2021 12:47:31 GMT
Anyone know who their big lad at the back was? Number 5. Just curious as he looked liked he’d played at a much higher level. Cheers
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pirate
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Post by pirate on Jul 3, 2021 12:56:38 GMT
Anyone know who their big lad at the back was? Number 5. Just curious as he looked liked he’d played at a much higher level. Cheers Greg Tindle. Ex Chippenham and Weston.
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pirate
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Post by pirate on Jul 3, 2021 12:59:14 GMT
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Post by chubbgas on Jul 3, 2021 13:00:10 GMT
Thanks Pirate
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Post by Deleted on Jul 3, 2021 13:09:56 GMT
JB: We’re working on a few things and I’m hoping to move four (deals) on in the next week, and the more and more I go through it, we’re probably eight or nine players away from where we want to be. Is that four leaving or coming in? 😂 Where does JB say this, certainly not in the aftermatch interview I listened to?
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Post by kentgas on Jul 3, 2021 16:07:34 GMT
JB: We’re working on a few things and I’m hoping to move four (deals) on in the next week, and the more and more I go through it, we’re probably eight or nine players away from where we want to be. Is that four leaving or coming in? 😂 Where does JB say this, certainly not in the aftermatch interview I listened to? In his EP interview as quoted above by TAGas
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Post by Deleted on Jul 3, 2021 17:26:12 GMT
Good to hear that we showed respect to our hosts, and nice for their manager to take time to highlight it.
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Post by peterhooper57 on Jul 4, 2021 14:38:23 GMT
Really nice to finally see the Gas play again on Friday night, at what is a terrific new stadium, great facilities, with good hospitality. I really enjoyed the match, thought the new players played really well, particularly liked Mark Hughes (new captain), Nick Anderton and Connor Taylor at the back, and Aaron Collins is definitely a special talent. Glad to hear Joey intends to bring in 8/9 more players, sure to be a couple of Centre Forwards in that number, as unfortunately, I cannot see Hanlon or Ayunga scoring many. Utg
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Post by Deleted on Jul 4, 2021 15:24:15 GMT
Anyone heard anything about the clubs likely plans on tickets for the three home friendlies later this month?
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Post by Deleted on Jul 4, 2021 15:42:47 GMT
Anyone heard anything about the clubs likely plans on tickets for the three home friendlies later this month? Ticket information soon according to website. 2000 max for Plymouth game, 4000 Swansea and full capacity for Oxford.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 4, 2021 15:58:05 GMT
Anyone heard anything about the clubs likely plans on tickets for the three home friendlies later this month? Ticket information soon according to website. 2000 max for Plymouth game, 4000 Swansea and full capacity for Oxford. Cheers mate. Hope we hear soon and priority for ST holders. Can’t wait to be back seeing a game in the flesh after sixteen months!
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Post by goodnightirene1883 on Jul 5, 2021 8:39:17 GMT
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Post by gasandelectricity on Jul 5, 2021 11:46:12 GMT
Ticket information soon according to website. 2000 max for Plymouth game, 4000 Swansea and full capacity for Oxford. Cheers mate. Hope we hear soon and priority for ST holders. Can’t wait to be back seeing a game in the flesh after sixteen months! Will they even need to do priority? Even with the hunger to get back, it’s still preseason friendlies which struggle to get past 2k even for the big clubs.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2021 12:18:36 GMT
Cheers mate. Hope we hear soon and priority for ST holders. Can’t wait to be back seeing a game in the flesh after sixteen months! Will they even need to do priority? Even with the hunger to get back, it’s still preseason friendlies which struggle to get past 2k even for the big clubs. I know demand is normally very low for friendlies but after well over a year stuck watching on iPads there will be more interest than normal. If capacity is still partially limited it could get tricky and as a ST Holder I’d be annoyed to miss out if they are sold on a first come first served general sale basis.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2021 12:20:45 GMT
Will they even need to do priority? Even with the hunger to get back, it’s still preseason friendlies which struggle to get past 2k even for the big clubs. I know demand is normally very low for friendlies but after well over a year stuck watching on iPads there will be more interest than normal. If capacity is still partially limited it could get tricky and as a ST Holder I’d be annoyed to miss out if they are sold on a first come first served general sale basis. Perhaps the club ought to be trying to entice new fans rather than giving priority to ST holders for friendlys? As a compromise, how about ST holders can bring a mate for free..
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2021 13:01:14 GMT
Will they even need to do priority? Even with the hunger to get back, it’s still preseason friendlies which struggle to get past 2k even for the big clubs. I know demand is normally very low for friendlies but after well over a year stuck watching on iPads there will be more interest than normal. If capacity is still partially limited it could get tricky and as a ST Holder I’d be annoyed to miss out if they are sold on a first come first served general sale basis. Blimey …. Talk about Me, Me , Me Better if they gave tickets to schools to try and get kids involved and reduce the average age of our fan base - maybe even throw in a free scarf or something. Would do the same for the trophy that very few S/T holders support but everyone will scream for tickets if we got to Wembley.
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Post by gasandelectricity on Jul 5, 2021 13:14:04 GMT
I’m sure there’s plenty of tickets to go around people!
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