Things that make you go ouch and do we ever learn from it

Standing on Lego Dam kills.

I should know, I've done it 100s of times.

Yea, think I know what you mean. Woken in the night thinking I need a plop but it's just doing its thing. Still hurts though.

Read the thread. Anal cramps. You're ex Military, tell me you don't know what that's all about.

anything that gives pain is welcome in this thread
these yer arse cramps you mention, is that the one you get from not sitting on the throne quick enough, where it indescribable agony, to the point it's hard to walk but you have to get to the throne before the monsoon season starts in yer anal passage, if so fuckng horrible feeling


Almost forgot , had to have a prostate exam recently. dont like anything in the exhaust tube, so trying to keep from twatting doc, was it wrong of me to say ,doc is that a smile do you love your job,  swiftly followed by, are you sure your using a finger as its bigger than my cock,  believe me although wendy was styfling back a laugh, a doctor removing whatever it was from your ring at over 100 mph is so fecking painful, i said to wend i'm never going to crack a joke again whilst being examined internaly , she said ok wait till next time you'll say something else


When having nerve testing done, with the electric shock machine, under no circumstances ask the guy operating the machine, if he learnt to use his torture machine in the milatary back home, because i tell ee what , that machine within 10 seconds of asking can make you dance very quickly and very painfully

got loads more of these but need some others to post thiers

I once made the mistake of asking a phisio terrorist what life was like in the Waffen SS - Oh dear

Though if we are talking pain and a complete inability to learn from that mistake I'd have to say Kirsty Jones.

The first of a many unrequited objects of affection that didn't want to spoil things because I'm "such a good friend and a great guy but I just don't see you that way"

25yrs on and it still hurts.

why do some of us do things like that, i mean we know it's not going to end in a good way with us, but still we do it
heres a  couple more on the old o/f during a matchday thread i was so stressed i started picking a large wart, whit came completely of at that moment we scored, but it only worked one more time as the third wart i picked didnt result in a goal.

Had some skin tags removed by the vet, the first 10 or so went fine, the next lot i was smiling away quite happy ,blood everywhere, the vet(doc) looked at me and said your enjoying this arnt you , i replied hell yeah,  he suddenly looked very sheepish and shocked at the same time, picked up his can of freezer spray ,looked me in the e7ye and said im so sorry i forgot to spray it, he then said why didnt you tell me.  Before i could reply wendy chimed in because he was probably enjoying it.

as a kid i went somewhere i shouldnt have and sliced my nuts open ,rushed home and cleaned em up with some cleaning alchohol and iodine then proceeded to sew em back together, as believe me that was far less painful than the hiding i would have got 

last one for now,     had quite a few blood blisters on my nads ,so i was getting very fed up wih em so sat in bed and popped everyone ,with a piercing needle, and forgot , wendy came to bed pulled back the covers and sh** herself due to the bed sheets and quilt being red instead of white, she was not impressed with me to say the least, she thought i had chopped me nads off as there was so much blood

Cramp in the sole of your foot. Right in the arch, that or standing on an upturned plug.

Trying to eat a Toblerone straight from the fridge.