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Post by Deleted on Mar 9, 2017 8:27:58 GMT
It's official. I am now involved in a full-blown, no-holds barred, weapons free total war........................ I've got a friggin Mole in my garden. It first started when they appeared in the garden behind us and they tunneled under the wall. I managed to stop that by laying rows of anti-Mole Lavender Balls under the ground. Now, one of the feckers has come from the garden on the side. I even have two mole-hills in a raised flower bed! The Lavender Balls will not work now, as they are designed as a repellent, and now the bloody thing is in, they're no good. I shall pop into the garden centre later today to see what sort of devices they have to capture/kill/crush/exterminate, exterminate, exterminate this beast. Cry Havoc and unleash the dog's of war! PS - If you are from PETA and you are reading this....Foxtrot Oscar ! PPS - Any advice will be gratefully received. PPPS - I've tried playing C&W music in the back garden, but that didn't deter the little fecker. PPPPS - and nor did Rap music! Get a life. Righty ho....Do they sell them in Tesco's? |
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Post by baggins on Mar 9, 2017 12:51:32 GMT
Righty ho....Do they sell them in Tesco's? I don't think Tesco sell moles. Maybe in the frozen section? |
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Post by baggins on Mar 9, 2017 12:52:06 GMT
It's official. I am now involved in a full-blown, no-holds barred, weapons free total war........................ I've got a friggin Mole in my garden. It first started when they appeared in the garden behind us and they tunneled under the wall. I managed to stop that by laying rows of anti-Mole Lavender Balls under the ground. Now, one of the feckers has come from the garden on the side. I even have two mole-hills in a raised flower bed! The Lavender Balls will not work now, as they are designed as a repellent, and now the bloody thing is in, they're no good. I shall pop into the garden centre later today to see what sort of devices they have to capture/kill/crush/exterminate, exterminate, exterminate this beast. Cry Havoc and unleash the dog's of war! PS - If you are from PETA and you are reading this....Foxtrot Oscar ! PPS - Any advice will be gratefully received. PPPS - I've tried playing C&W music in the back garden, but that didn't deter the little fecker. PPPPS - and nor did Rap music! Get a life. Bit rude. |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 9, 2017 12:58:02 GMT
Righty ho....Do they sell them in Tesco's? I don't think Tesco sell moles. Maybe in the frozen section? Not a Mole you fool.......I mean a life like GGMI has! |
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Post by baggins on Mar 9, 2017 13:08:05 GMT
I don't think Tesco sell moles. Maybe in the frozen section? Not a Mole you fool.......I mean a life like GGMI has! Oh, right, maybe in the frozen section? |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 9, 2017 15:21:54 GMT
Not a Mole you fool.......I mean a life like GGMI has! Oh, right, maybe in the frozen section? To get a life like GGMI do you think it's a Waitrose life, or more of a Lidl life? or even Poundstretchers? Just where do I go to buy one like his? |
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Post by aghast on Mar 9, 2017 16:14:16 GMT
Oh, right, maybe in the frozen section? To get a life like GGMI do you think it's a Waitrose life, or more of a Lidl life? or even Poundstretchers? Just where do I go to buy one like his?  |
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Post by pirateman on Mar 9, 2017 16:16:13 GMT
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Post by inee on Mar 9, 2017 21:05:48 GMT
Here you are nobs this vid should tell you how to get rid  |
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Post by axegas on Mar 9, 2017 22:20:52 GMT
It's official. I am now involved in a full-blown, no-holds barred, weapons free total war........................ I've got a friggin Mole in my garden. It first started when they appeared in the garden behind us and they tunneled under the wall. I managed to stop that by laying rows of anti-Mole Lavender Balls under the ground. Now, one of the feckers has come from the garden on the side. I even have two mole-hills in a raised flower bed! The Lavender Balls will not work now, as they are designed as a repellent, and now the bloody thing is in, they're no good. I shall pop into the garden centre later today to see what sort of devices they have to capture/kill/crush/exterminate, exterminate, exterminate this beast. Cry Havoc and unleash the dog's of war! PS - If you are from PETA and you are reading this....Foxtrot Oscar ! PPS - Any advice will be gratefully received. PPPS - I've tried playing C&W music in the back garden, but that didn't deter the little fecker. PPPPS - and nor did Rap music! Get a life. This is coming from someone with 8k posts on a football forum? |
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Post by Gas Go Marching In on Mar 10, 2017 6:10:42 GMT
Righty ho....Do they sell them in Tesco's? Yes, 10p. |
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Post by Gas Go Marching In on Mar 10, 2017 6:12:56 GMT
This is coming from someone with 8k posts on a football forum? Quality not quantity. |
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Post by William Wilson on Mar 10, 2017 7:51:13 GMT
Oh, right, maybe in the frozen section? To get a life like GGMI do you think it's a Waitrose life, or more of a Lidl life? or even Poundstretchers? Just where do I go to buy one like his? eBay? |
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2017 10:39:33 GMT
Mole Update: Originally I was ordered, yes ordered, by She Who Casts No Shadow, and her Mother, The Kraken, NOT to kill the Mole. They reckoned as long as it stayed in the Flower Borders it was ok........until Monday evening.......when that familiar earth mound raised itself slap bang in the middle of my prize lawn. I went straight round to the German version of B&Q (Heckler & Koch) and bought a trap....well, it's not a trap as such, but a powerful plunger thingy that the Mole activates when it bimbles along it's tunnel. On the one hand it will trap him....but also crush him at the same time. I suppose it's just semantics. But that'll feck him. No amount of pleading from the Gruesome Twosome will put me off. I'm just waiting for the plunger to fall........  The only problem I have is that Moles are a protected species in Germany & Austria. I hope the Gestapo don't come knocking on my door. |
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Post by baggins on May 3, 2017 10:51:21 GMT
Mole Update: Originally I was ordered, yes ordered, by She Who Casts No Shadow, and her Mother, The Kraken, NOT to kill the Mole. They reckoned as long as it stayed in the Flower Borders it was ok........until Monday evening.......when that familiar earth mound raised itself slap bang in the middle of my prize lawn. I went straight round to the German version of B&Q (Heckler & Koch) and bought a trap....well, it's not a trap as such, but a powerful plunger thingy that the Mole activates when it bimbles along it's tunnel. On the one hand it will trap him....but also crush him at the same time. I suppose it's just semantics. But that'll feck him. No amount of pleading from the Gruesome Twosome will put me off. I'm just waiting for the plunger to fall........ The only problem I have is that Moles are a protected species in Germany & Austria. I hope the Gestapo don't come knocking on my door. Get a cat. |
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2017 11:09:25 GMT
The Kraken has a Dachshund........and they are meant to be hunting dogs. All he does is skip around the mound sniffing at it, scratch at it a bit, and then gets distracted by a leaf! The poor fecker only has one bollock.
How is a Cat going to catch the Mole when the Mole is always underground? Need a better plan than that. Has your Moggy ever caught a Mole?
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Post by baggins on May 3, 2017 11:17:40 GMT
The Kraken has a Dachshund........and they are meant to be hunting dogs. All he does is skip around the mound sniffing at it, scratch at it a bit, and then gets distracted by a leaf! The poor fecker only has one bollock. How is a Cat going to catch the Mole when the Mole is always underground? Need a better plan than that. Has your Moggy ever caught a Mole? Yep. Thing just sits at the mole hill and then when it hears something, the paw goes down up to the shoulder and pulls the bugger out. Then plays with it. Then eats it. It's a cat. |
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2017 11:48:11 GMT
The Kraken has a Dachshund........and they are meant to be hunting dogs. All he does is skip around the mound sniffing at it, scratch at it a bit, and then gets distracted by a leaf! The poor fecker only has one bollock. How is a Cat going to catch the Mole when the Mole is always underground? Need a better plan than that. Has your Moggy ever caught a Mole? Yep. Thing just sits at the mole hill and then when it hears something, the paw goes down up to the shoulder and pulls the bugger out. Then plays with it. Then eats it. It's a cat. I think the howls of protest from the Gruesome Twosome would reach Concorde levels if I were to replace the dog with a cat....anyway, I like the dog. He's a good egg. I'll wait and see if the trap does anything first. |
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Post by baggins on May 3, 2017 11:56:27 GMT
Yep. Thing just sits at the mole hill and then when it hears something, the paw goes down up to the shoulder and pulls the bugger out. Then plays with it. Then eats it. It's a cat. I think the howls of protest from the Gruesome Twosome would reach Concorde levels if I were to replace the dog with a cat....anyway, I like the dog. He's a good egg. I'll wait and see if the trap does anything first. He may be a good egg, but obviously sh** at his job. Cat. Clinical. No morals. Killing machine. Then will curl up on your lap purring as though murder is just something it's done during the time it's awake. |
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2017 12:02:00 GMT
I think the howls of protest from the Gruesome Twosome would reach Concorde levels if I were to replace the dog with a cat....anyway, I like the dog. He's a good egg. I'll wait and see if the trap does anything first. He may be a good egg, but obviously sh** at his job. Cat. Clinical. No morals. Killing machine. Then will curl up on your lap purring as though murder is just something it's done during the time it's awake. Feck me, I'm a cat ! |
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