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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2017 9:58:18 GMT
It's official. I am now involved in a full-blown, no-holds barred, weapons free total war........................
I've got a friggin Mole in my garden.
It first started when they appeared in the garden behind us and they tunneled under the wall. I managed to stop that by laying rows of anti-Mole Lavender Balls under the ground.
Now, one of the feckers has come from the garden on the side. I even have two mole-hills in a raised flower bed!
The Lavender Balls will not work now, as they are designed as a repellent, and now the bloody thing is in, they're no good.
I shall pop into the garden centre later today to see what sort of devices they have to capture/kill/crush/exterminate, exterminate, exterminate this beast.
Cry Havoc and unleash the dog's of war!
PS - If you are from PETA and you are reading this....Foxtrot Oscar !
PPS - Any advice will be gratefully received.
PPPS - I've tried playing C&W music in the back garden, but that didn't deter the little fecker.
PPPPS - and nor did Rap music!
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Post by stuart1974 on Mar 8, 2017 10:12:42 GMT
Moles eat worms don't they? Buy a load from your nearest fishing tackle shop and throw them over next door's garden one night. They'll soon move.
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Post by baggins on Mar 8, 2017 11:21:26 GMT
It's official. I am now involved in a full-blown, no-holds barred, weapons free total war........................ I've got a friggin Mole in my garden. It first started when they appeared in the garden behind us and they tunneled under the wall. I managed to stop that by laying rows of anti-Mole Lavender Balls under the ground. Now, one of the feckers has come from the garden on the side. I even have two mole-hills in a raised flower bed! The Lavender Balls will not work now, as they are designed as a repellent, and now the bloody thing is in, they're no good. I shall pop into the garden centre later today to see what sort of devices they have to capture/kill/crush/exterminate, exterminate, exterminate this beast. Cry Havoc and unleash the dog's of war! PS - If you are from PETA and you are reading this....Foxtrot Oscar ! PPS - Any advice will be gratefully received. PPPS - I've tried playing C&W music in the back garden, but that didn't deter the little fecker. PPPPS - and nor did Rap music! Join the club, we also have one. Cat spends most of the day looking at the mound of earth. Hate the bloody things. Found one on the lawn not so long ago so thought I'd be a kind soul and move it somewhere safe, away from the cat. Picked it up, damned thing sunk it's teeth right into my finger! It got launched into the woods. |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2017 11:48:12 GMT
It's official. I am now involved in a full-blown, no-holds barred, weapons free total war........................ I've got a friggin Mole in my garden. It first started when they appeared in the garden behind us and they tunneled under the wall. I managed to stop that by laying rows of anti-Mole Lavender Balls under the ground. Now, one of the feckers has come from the garden on the side. I even have two mole-hills in a raised flower bed! The Lavender Balls will not work now, as they are designed as a repellent, and now the bloody thing is in, they're no good. I shall pop into the garden centre later today to see what sort of devices they have to capture/kill/crush/exterminate, exterminate, exterminate this beast. Cry Havoc and unleash the dog's of war! PS - If you are from PETA and you are reading this....Foxtrot Oscar ! PPS - Any advice will be gratefully received. PPPS - I've tried playing C&W music in the back garden, but that didn't deter the little fecker. PPPPS - and nor did Rap music! Join the club, we also have one. Cat spends most of the day looking at the mound of earth. Hate the bloody things. Found one on the lawn not so long ago so thought I'd be a kind soul and move it somewhere safe, away from the cat. Picked it up, damned thing sunk it's teeth right into my finger! It got launched into the woods. Show them no mercy. I water on the Geneva Conventions. |
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Post by baggins on Mar 8, 2017 11:49:23 GMT
Bloody things. Yes they look cute and lovely but secretly, they're the devils pet.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2017 11:51:23 GMT
Bloody things. Yes they look cute and lovely but secretly, they're the devils pet. I understand that it used to be the thing to make Moleskin waistcoats......That's given me an idea. |
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Post by baggins on Mar 8, 2017 11:52:45 GMT
Bloody things. Yes they look cute and lovely but secretly, they're the devils pet. I understand that it used to be the thing to make Moleskin waistcoats......That's given me an idea. Catch the one first then practice on a waistcoat for your Action Man. |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2017 12:03:56 GMT
I understand that it used to be the thing to make Moleskin waistcoats......That's given me an idea. Catch the one first then practice on a waistcoat for your Action Man. I've got about eight Action Men. I'll need more than one Mole ! |
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Post by baggins on Mar 8, 2017 12:06:51 GMT
Catch the one first then practice on a waistcoat for your Action Man. I've got about eight Action Men. I'll need more than one Mole ! You'll have them when they come looking for their Mate. I wonder if the tunnel they used to get into your garden is called Tom, Dick or Harry?. |
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Post by William Wilson on Mar 8, 2017 12:07:24 GMT
I understand that it used to be the thing to make Moleskin waistcoats......That's given me an idea. Catch the one first then practice on a waistcoat for your Action Man. Wouldn`t need much material to cover Nobby`s Action Man. |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2017 12:13:47 GMT
I've got about eight Action Men. I'll need more than one Mole ! You'll have them when they come looking for their Mate. I wonder if the tunnel they used to get into your garden is called Tom, Dick or Harry?. I'll start with the normal Mole traps. If that don't get 'em, I'll move onto a Shotgun, and if that don't work.......C4........that'll feck 'em ! No limits. |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2017 12:14:30 GMT
Catch the one first then practice on a waistcoat for your Action Man. Wouldn`t need much material to cover Nobby`s Action Man. I'm married. You are really talking about my Inaction Man ? |
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Post by baggins on Mar 8, 2017 12:17:23 GMT
You'll have them when they come looking for their Mate. I wonder if the tunnel they used to get into your garden is called Tom, Dick or Harry?. I'll start with the normal Mole traps. If that don't get 'em, I'll move onto a Shotgun, and if that don't work.......C4........that'll feck 'em ! No limits. Could always try Mrs Nobbys' sausage. |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2017 12:25:11 GMT
I'll start with the normal Mole traps. If that don't get 'em, I'll move onto a Shotgun, and if that don't work.......C4........that'll feck 'em ! No limits. Could always try Mrs Nobbys' sausage. S'pose I could use any of her cooking to poison them. |
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Post by William Wilson on Mar 8, 2017 19:44:45 GMT
I'll start with the normal Mole traps. If that don't get 'em, I'll move onto a Shotgun, and if that don't work.......C4........that'll feck 'em ! No limits. Could always try Mrs Nobbys' sausage. Cracking idea. It`s the wurst thing you could do to them. |
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Post by William Wilson on Mar 8, 2017 19:48:48 GMT
It's official. I am now involved in a full-blown, no-holds barred, weapons free total war........................ I've got a friggin Mole in my garden. Is the mole a homosexual, working for the Russians? If so, give GCHQ a call. I expect he`s gone missing from there. |
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Post by aghast on Mar 8, 2017 20:23:11 GMT
Bloody things. Yes they look cute and lovely but secretly, they're the devils pet. Cute? CUTE? Look at the thing. It's like something from a Wes Craven movie.  |
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Post by gaswife on Mar 8, 2017 22:14:56 GMT
I am married to a LONG TERM rovers supporter - (Trevor gas) - In our ENTIRE 19 year marriage - Clive (aka Trevor gas) has had a MASSIVE WAR against MOLES! Moles are "the other guilty party" in our relationship! We have brought mole alarms, we have tried the South African mole removal remedies of "men need to pee on mole hills to scare them away", there's the "moth balls down holes" remedy Theres the "human hair down the holes remedy" the list is endless. We have even EMPLOYED a mole catcher (with huge success)! Clive has even had "mole tapestry key ring fob" made for him and plenty of garden signs given at birthdays showing "Moles about"! The list is endless - it's the morning swear words that are shouted when clive looks at his pristine lawn and finds evidence of "MOLE"! Surely there must be a rovers mole link?  ? |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 9, 2017 5:55:03 GMT
I am married to a LONG TERM rovers supporter - (Trevor gas) - In our ENTIRE 19 year marriage - Clive (aka Trevor gas) has had a MASSIVE WAR against MOLES! Moles are "the other guilty party" in our relationship! We have brought mole alarms, we have tried the South African mole removal remedies of "men need to pee on mole hills to scare them away", there's the "moth balls down holes" remedy Theres the "human hair down the holes remedy" the list is endless. We have even EMPLOYED a mole catcher (with huge success)! Clive has even had "mole tapestry key ring fob" made for him and plenty of garden signs given at birthdays showing "Moles about"! The list is endless - it's the morning swear words that are shouted when clive looks at his pristine lawn and finds evidence of "MOLE"! Surely there must be a rovers mole link? ? I almost feel emotionally attached to Trevor ! I had to delay my initial assault on the Moles yesterday as it was hammering down and that makes it difficult to locate their main tunnel, but I'll use the time-honoured 7 P's, Proper Planning & Preparation Prevent p**s Poor Performance. My armoury consists of two Plunger Type traps. I think I have found where their nest is as they usually like to nest beneath a tree, and I've found a pile of earth underneath one of the trees. I was reading about Mole Catchers yesterday. I'm sure Trevor will find this interesting.... I love this comment...."Page was clearly torn between his desire to have an attractive lawn and the violent death he was about to sanction". No such worries for me. I'll go for the violent death every time ! Britain's Mole Catchers |
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Post by Gas Go Marching In on Mar 9, 2017 7:58:41 GMT
It's official. I am now involved in a full-blown, no-holds barred, weapons free total war........................ I've got a friggin Mole in my garden. It first started when they appeared in the garden behind us and they tunneled under the wall. I managed to stop that by laying rows of anti-Mole Lavender Balls under the ground. Now, one of the feckers has come from the garden on the side. I even have two mole-hills in a raised flower bed! The Lavender Balls will not work now, as they are designed as a repellent, and now the bloody thing is in, they're no good. I shall pop into the garden centre later today to see what sort of devices they have to capture/kill/crush/exterminate, exterminate, exterminate this beast. Cry Havoc and unleash the dog's of war! PS - If you are from PETA and you are reading this....Foxtrot Oscar ! PPS - Any advice will be gratefully received. PPPS - I've tried playing C&W music in the back garden, but that didn't deter the little fecker. PPPPS - and nor did Rap music! Get a life. |
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